Conversation · Limbic System

Here we are again, my broken bird. The waves are coming... carrying you away... but you can't go. No -- you have to stay. Always half-aware of yourself.

You're not cooperating brother-man.

Why?

It's your disgusting body. Even through your sleep, you feel a vague discomfort suffusing it. Your belly and your sides are unpleasantly tender. You wish you could curl up into a foetal ball of safety, but you cannot -- because of the PAIN.

And there's a lot of it. Ever present in your organs. It's like every one of them has their own nasty song to sing.

That pain in your right side is your enlarged liver, by the way. As for your kidneys... you've really been compounding the damage lately. And, trust me, you don't want me to do the maths.

Every cell in your body is moaning in agony, asking, "What did we ever do to you?"

I'm sorry, cells! It's all me! It's my fault!

Now you're finally thinking about something other than yourself. Let's see how far that'll get you.

I thought I was on the express to The Silence!

Now, you've gone off the rails, baby, now you're stuck sitting here by the tracks, admiring the wreck around you. You just can't help it: looking at yourself, the sum total of your accomplishments...

You're just stuck here. In the half-world. Could try looking at other people. Really looking. But why would you want to start doing that?

I will! I'm looking at people all the time. I like them.

Sure, you do. They're all so friendly, aren't they?

Some of them are. Some of them are nice. Others are scared.

At least they're interesting. Each one has a process just like yours, running in the space between their ears, full of secrets.

People are beautiful. Statuesque. Parodies and tragedies of themselves. A great democracy of creatures...

What do you think you're doing right now? Coming to some greater awareness? Look at all these lights! Blinking in and out of existence -- thoughts! You're just pretending that you're asleep, even to yourself. While the world goes on without you...

Let it! Let it!

...But it never seems to let you go, does it? Time to rise and wipe that shining sweat off as best you can. Gather your bearings. Rock and roll.

Put on your prettiest face for the masses!

[Open your eyes.]

Human beings will always betray you.

How many promises have you kept lately, Sir Harry? To the great, see-through world, the tenderness?

Thou art honourable and just, sire. 'Tis the snakes who are vile! Hissing in the grass...

Women. It's the women. Look out for the women. They're oathbreakers...

Come now. Humans have earned your trust. And you theirs...

Just get me out of here then. Back to the other place.

Oh, baby boy. You're already in the other place. There's no nourishment for you tonight. Maybe tomorrow?

Maybe if you... you know... like... TOOK A LOT OF DRUGS? Before you go to sleep. That'd do the trick...

Maybe if you cracked the damn thing, then you'd feel satisfied and tired. Holding the picture puzzle in your hands... complete!

Maybe if you weren't so hard on yourself...

I'm an artist and liver damage is my art.

Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem -- no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

These are my just desserts. I will endure this pain with dignity.

There's no dignity here... only reflections of your body mass. Flashes of the day. You keep coming back to yourself in the mirror -- but why? To admire all your accomplishments?

Wait, wasn't this the express to Fuck-All-Borough?

Hey, what is this? I was on the express to Zero-Holm!

No, please... Where is that blessed nothingness? That sweet oblivion?

You had your chance, Harry-boy, and you missed it. Started thrashing around, acting all brave -- now the Dark Centre has vanished. You'll never get back to it.

I think I... need medical attention.

Oh yes. They'll check you out, give you some pills, make it all okay. The wonder-makers.

Don't be stupid Harry, it's not happening. They don't make new kidneys and livers in hospital. All you've got to do is pray to god it passes -- while you stare at the flickering darkness.

It's all the system's fault. The system failed me.

Yes, your body is a system, and and it's failing you because you're failing it.

This body's worthless anyway... no one does anything nice to it.

And why might that be the case? What love alights on such a bloated corpse-to-be?

But this suffering -- it must have some kind of meaning... A story that will come out of it. Perhaps even a story that you will write yourself?

That pain in your right side is your enlarged liver, by the way. As for your kidneys... you've really been compounding the damage lately.