Conversation · Morell, the Cryptozoologist

"Okay..." He eyes you sceptically. "I already did my best to inform you. I don't really know what else I could discuss with a layman..."

"Your friend Gary told me about the burning rhino."

"Did he?" He lowers his voice. "That one's a hoax. Some Seraise rice farmers set fire to rhinoceros cadavers and used them scare tourists."

"I knew it can't be real." (Conclude.)

"Did you?" He seems incredulous. "It is almost as difficult to confirm a hoax as it is to confirm a sighting..." A cough.

"Have you told Gary this?"

"Many times. It always turns into an argument. I don't want to repeat it. The rhino holds a special place in his heart -- let it. Myths are part of my field."

It's a gut feeling. He knows it exists, fuck the so-called specialists.

"See Kim, one of them is a hoax."

"Which one?" He hasn't been paying attention.

"The burning rhinoceros."

"Mhm. The burning rhino is where they draw the line." He's unimpressed.

"What if the other cryptids are hoaxes too?"

"Many of them probably are. Statistically speaking, about 20% of all cryptids are verified hoaxes. Uncovering falsehoods deliberately fabricated to fool the public is just as much my calling as finding new species."

If perhaps slightly less enjoyable.

"What if you're wrong? What if it's real?" (Conclude.)

"I doubt that. Once confirmed a hoax, so-called sightings of the rhino stopped." A cough. "Was there anything else, or..."

Gary obliviously stares at the stage -- safe in the knowledge the burning rhinoceros exists.

"I know all about the kind green ape!"

"I'm guessing you heard about it from Lena," he smiles. "The kind green ape is one of her favourites."

A warm wave passes him. Of course the kind green ape is her favourite, he thinks.

"We travelled to South Safre to look for it once. Gary and I got stuck in a rainstorm, though, and had to spend most of our time there in a little village."

"The search was fabulously unsuccessful -- but the people were very nice. I'm glad they didn't understand what Gary was saying about them..."

He's a good and loyal man despite his ramblings, the elderly cryptozoologist thinks to himself.

Their relationship transcends Gary's politics. It must -- to work. Plus, a guy like Morell knows a thing or two about being on the fringes himself, though his fringes are... different.

"Those people were on a different rung of the ladder of civilization, that's all."

"You kept complaining about how dirty they were."

"And I realize that their hygiene habits were completely appropriate for a nascent culture... I just didn't feel comfortable. Let's change the topic."

Yes. Back to cryptozoology. You don't want to sow disagreement between friends.

"WHAT? SOUTH SAFRE?! THEY'RE JUST ON A DIFFERENT RUNG OF THE LADDER, MORELL! I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH THEM!"

"REALLY? You kept complaining how dirty everything is, but we digress..."

"THEY'RE A NASCENT CULTURE. I just didn't feel comfortable, and... Let's change the topic, okay? Talk about your critters or whatever..." He mumbles something.

"I know about the most dangerous cryptid -- the Gnome of Geroma."

"Formerly the most dangerous, yes... But do you know the most dangerous living cryptid?"

He does not want to make it feel like you knowing it is some big deal.

"Living? No."

"The most dangerous cryptid is a carnivorous ruminant, known colloquially as the dread moose."

"Get outta here!"

"No. I will not get out of anywhere." He lashes immediately. "The dread moose is a widely reported cryptid from Arda. It subsists entirely on flesh, and has even been known to dig up fresh graves in search of sustenance."

"Hold on... Does it also attack people?"

"Human remains have been found deep in the forest, torn apart, then trampled into the mulch by large hooves. Infer from that what you will."

"Okay. What does the dread moose look like?"

"Just like an ordinary Ardan moose."

"Then how can you tell if it's the ordinary or the dread kind?"

"You can't! That's what makes it so dreadful... and hard to identify."

A moose that looks like any other moose... What's going on here? He's kidding right?

"I'm not completely sure about this dread moose..."

"The bodies found in the forest are just one piece of physical evidence. There's more..."

"What's the other evidence?"

"The recent surge in the moose population. As hidden carnivores, the dread moose are effectively removing competition for both themselves and their evolutionary cousins."

"What exactly is the relationship between carnivorous moose and regular moose?"

"The carnivorous moose are a very young species, the result of a genetic mutation that fared well in the process of natural selection."

"It makes sense that such a majestic animal with natural weapons -- antlers -- would come to rule the forest. The only strange thing is that it took so long."

He sees in the dread moose something perversely beautiful and just.

"But why would it need to hide its carnivorous nature?"

"Moose are already being hunted for sport. Can you imagine what would happen if they came to be viewed as predators?"

"Are there any reliable eyewitness accounts of a moose killing other animals for food?" (Conclude.)

"One slaughterhouse at the outskirts of the woods in Vaasa reported that its staff kept seeing moose in the distance."

"The moose would just stare at the building, as though they were waiting for something. Its eyes bloodshot and full of cruelty."

"I'm not sure I'm buying it."