Conversation · Klaasje (Miss Oranje Disco Dancer)

"Although -- if I remember correctly -- there are still some centuries to go. Very anticlimactic."

"Now, I'm no expert on cops, but that sounds like one special police officer to me."

"Know that I am no longer the Cop of the Apocalypse. The prophecy was wrong. The signs meant nothing. The hangover has passed."

"Yes, my copotype is unbelievably rare."

"Wow, there are copotypes..." Vapour rises from the coffee cup in her hand.

"I can assure you -- there really, really are not."

"Have I ever.... This is the one and only Superstar Cop. He's kind of a big deal around here."

"Martinaise is very lucky. Only one in a thousand cops wakes up as the Superstar Cop."

"Wow." She turns to the lieutenant. "What brings The Phoenix back to me?"

The Phoenix is one of the many nicknames of Guillaume le Million, Revachol's second greatest (male) disco artist. This is an honour.

"Kim, I swear I have no idea what she's talking about."

"Miss, I don't know what he's told you, but there are no superstars among police officers."

"Of course there are. Look at him..." She looks at you, then turns back to the lieutenant. "He is The Phoenix. What brings The Phoenix back to me?"

"I am sad to say I have shifted copotype since we last saw each other. I am a different cop now."

"Wow..." Vapour rises from the coffee cup in her hand.

"No. Not wow." (Lean in.) "I am the most boring cop in the world now. Nothing like that will ever happen again."

"I very much doubt that. What brings this so-called boring cop back to me?"

"Yes. Wow." (Lean in.) "I am now a herald of the Planetary Slaughterhouse. The Abattoir To Come."

"Wow indeed... And what brings this herald back to me?"

"Things are very far from wow, little miss." (Lean in.) "I am a changed man, a cop reborn to repent my shortcomings -- I am the Sorry Cop."

"A penitent cop-monk..." she says to herself. "What brings this changed man to me?"

"Hear that, Kim? I am a huge deal around here."

"This is part of the... khm... thing I told you about."

"Yes, I understood that, officer." He turns to the young woman.

"Have I ever... This is the world's most lamentable cop."

Do not go along with this.

"No. That's not me anymore. I am a Superstar Cop now."

"I stand corrected. What brings you back to me -- superstardom?"

"I'm sorry. I'm the Sorry Cop."

"It's okay, it's absolutely okay to be that." She nods compassionately. "What is this about, officers?"

"That's not me anymore. I am just a regular cop now. Regular law official."

"An unnecessary development, if you ask me." She shakes her head. "What brings this supposedly regular law official back to me?"

"No. That's not me anymore. I am the Cop of the Apocalypse now."

"I stand corrected. What brings you back to me -- the coming apocalypse?"

"Those days are behind me. I am here to ask questions."

"Questions? What about?"

"Have I ever... This man has an unforgettable way with words."

"I would like to withdraw the comment I made earlier. Given the situation we find ourselves in now, it seems out of place."

"And what is that situation?" She looks at the lieutenant.

"Say nothing."

"See?" She turns to the lieutenant. "'Say nothing'. So strange. Who says that? What is going on here?"

"You must have me confused with someone else. I'm just a regular, down-to-earth law official."

"I doubt it." She shakes her head. "You can't bury that kind of fire. What brought you back to me, Fire Man?"

"I would never do anything interesting like that. I'm trying to become the world's most regular cop."

"I doubt you will succeed." She shakes her head. "So, what is this about, officers?"

It's almost imperceptible in the cold wind, but the blood vessels on her cheeks and neck dilate.

"I stand by my words."

She tilts her head to the side and smiles. Vapour rises from her coffee cup.

"Have I ever! This is the biggest fan of Ostentatious Orchestrations I have seen in my life. And I have seen a few..."

"'Oh yeah,'" she declares. "'Life gets hard -- but we go on.'"

The chorus of the '35 single "Megafoning The Entire Human Race," instills you with the fuck-it-all swagger that prompts one to plough into grannies on your morning stroll.

"I've found something more downbeat for my next appearance." (Whip out the tape of "Smallest Church")

"That's the one! The Small Sad Church Song! I've missed it, I really have."

"You have? Why?"

"The Small Sad Church Song tells it like it is, detective -- sad."

It's no mere turn of phrase. This young woman has a deeply rooted understanding of what sad means.

"You ain't seen nothing yet. There's a karaoke stage downstairs."

"Wow..." She shakes her head in silent disbelief, breathing in the coffee smell.

"Johnny Law is about to tear it up. Sad-style."

"I assure you, he is not about to tear it up in any style. In fact..."