Conversation · Klaasje (Miss Oranje Disco Dancer)

"What is Miss Oranje '37?"

"It's a beauty pageant. Held in the year of our century '37 -- in Oranje."

She was 14 at the time.

"What is a beauty pageant?"

"It's a competition." She takes a drag. "For stupid girls. Men look at them and choose the most beautiful."

"Understood." (Conclude.)

"Mhm." She gestures toward the table. "I would offer you coffee, but it's garbage -- literally tastes like poison." She takes a sip.

"You were 14?"

"Indeed."

Her voice is indifferent to the number.

(Lower your thumb.) "I disapprove of this custom."

"It was okay." She shrugs. "And it was called Miss Teen Oranje '37, actually. You'll be glad to hear the pageant was discontinued."

The march of ethical progress continues.

"Cool." (Raise your thumb.)

"Supercool." She raises her coffee cup as though making a toast. "Full disclosure -- I was Miss Teen Oranje '37. The pageant was discontinued recently."

Another innocent tradition bulldozed by the march of ethical progress!

"I don't think I've ever been 14."

"I don't think I've ever heard anything less relevant to any investigation."

"It's okay. This is just him being a scintillating wordsmith. I'm used to it."

"It's okay, he's just getting his bearings. The world of beauty pageants is bewildering."

"It's okay, I don't mind. The world of beauty pageants is absurd and bewildering."

"C'mon, detective, cut him some slack. This guy's been through some heavy-duty emotional stuff."

"C'mon, detective, cut him some slack. These may be the final hours of human existence."

"It's okay. This is what superstar law officials do. I'm getting used to it."

"C'mon, detective, he's the most repentant law official in the land. I don't mind."

"Neither do I," she says calmly. "I think it's alcohol that makes you feel like that. It must have something to do with partying."

"What is beauty?"

"When you have the fewest deviations from the norm. I've been told it's a type of mediocrity that I possess."

"So you were the most beautiful?"

"Yes. And for that I got a crown and a sash -- and a sceptre. And a scholarship to study Oranjese lit."

"So you were stupid and mediocre?"

"No." She cranes her neck. "I was the most stupid and mediocre. And I got a crown and a sash -- and a sceptre -- for it. And a scholarship to study Oranjese lit."

Wouldn't it be, um... inappropriate to linger?

All things considered -- very. Now linger.

Of course she won a beauty pageant. She's very symmetrical.

"Cool." She looks at the white cents in your hand. "I've made more money by just being than I have with Oranjese lit."

"How do you make money then? Money is very important -- everyone tells me that."

"Oranjese lit certainly hasn't helped. I've made more money by just being than I have with Oranjese lit."

"What is Oranje?"

"A bad memory, officer."

The Republic of Oranje is a democratic nation on the Mundi isola, north of here, over the sea and across the pale. It is one of the six major Occidental nations to hold stake in the continued occupation of Revachol (the Coalition). People consider it a reasonable superpower.

Reasonable?

They will make you into a fiscal colony, divert your natural resources, hold patents and shares, but they won't threaten to wipe you out any time like Revachol did in its prime.

"A bad memory of what?"

"Of lilacs and lightning." She squints her eyes as if to see them in the distance. "Parks, glass, duraluminium -- Vredefort is a conference city. It's always autumn there. And night. At least it was for me."

"What's so bad about that?"

"Nothing -- if you're no longer there."

The conference centres are filled with people who get angry at you if you do something wrong.

Let it be.

"It's the past." She takes a sip of her coffee. "People can't go back to the past."

Thankfully -- it's implied.

"Did you do something wrong?"

"Sooner or later, everyone does."

"And what's so bad about that?"

"Understood, miss."

"How old are you?"

"I'm 28." She takes a drag.

"Could I see your passport, please?"

"I'm afraid you can't, officer."

"Why is that?"