Conversation · Paledriver

"What is at the end of the Motorway South?"

"No one knows what's at the end..." She takes the cigarette out of the cigarette holder and extinguishes it. "I've only glimpsed the beginning."

"I've only felt it in the distance. When I was a child..." She goes silent, her eyes close and her hands shake. "A child. Rowing on the lake."

"Ma'am?"

"Hosiannna..." A sigh escapes her lips, then silence, as she stares within herself.

There is nothing more to do now. She's far away.

She is receding. In the clutches of some indescribable, scattered emotion. A child. Descending.

"You've fried both your brains enough for today, detective..." He inspects her. No response.

"Now, I'd like to have a word with you about this side task of yours..."

"I feel like there's still a long way to go."

"No. You see, we've already spent too much time on this nonsensical side-errand. There's no magical fascist who's going to unwind time for you..."

"Because the problem isn't time, it's you, detective..."

"If you're serious about this, really truly serious, then I suggest you take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask yourself what's really going on..."

The lieutenant is right. It's the only way forward. Face yourself, kingsman!

Why don't you ever listen to us. We tried to warn you that you wouldn't like what the mirror had to say...

"Now come on, let's leave this one to her reveries." He shakes his head silently as he turns to leave.

Are you s-s-sure you want to do that? Remember what happened last time...

"I feel like I'm getting really close."

"You've been saying that for a while. And yet, we only seem to be getting further from our actual goal..."

This is all you're going to get out of her. There's nothing more for you here.

But there is one more kingsman to confront.

Who?

YOU.

It's time to face yourself, mano y mano. The next time you find yourself alone before a mirror. That's where this will end... The final showdown.

B-b-but what if you don't like what you find there? There'll be no going back from it...

"You've fried both your brains enough for today, detective..." He inspects her. No response.

"Let's get some air. This one's far gone..." He shakes his head silently as he turns to leave.

"Thank you. Good bye." [Leave.]

"Just a moment, detective. Before we go, I'd like a word with you about this side task of yours..."

Stop. There's nothing else she can do for you, but this isn't the end of the line. No, there's one more kingsman to confront.

"I would rather have what you have than what I have."

"I feel I already have what you have. In some way."

"When you've seen it all go away like that, rolling off like the sea, and then come back to this..." She gestures at the square. The broken horse monument, the clanging of machines in the distance.

"Isn't that dangerous?"

"Thought insertion? Dithering? The Graad-Katla Magistral?" She savours the lungful. "It's more than dangerous -- it's sad. But... at first I had to make a living. Now..."

"I blacked out -- from sheer heartbreak -- and lost all memory of the world."

"Like Gabriel Buenguerro in 'Segure-me, Paraíso'..." She nods and smiles, unkindly. "You're the opposite of me then. I remember everything -- even the things I never knew."

"I blacked out -- from the love I felt for my Motherland -- and lost all memory of the world."

"Like Gabriel Buenguerro in 'O Céu Dourado'..." She nods and smiles, unkindly. "You're the opposite of me then. I remember everything -- even the things I never knew."

"'República'." (Smell the air.) "That's not very healthy."

"Neither is pale transportation." She shrugs. "Life is transitory."

"Actually, I haven't figured anything out yet..."

"You haven't? Why are you bringing up pale then?"

"Great." The lieutenant concedes with a head shake. "He asked the Pines rep about the pale -- and now he's talking to everyone about it..."

"Fine, then." He sighs. "Just try not to black out again. And don't contemplate. We don't have time for that."

It's death -- but for the Universe? Oh, we're contemplating the living shit out of this.

"Everything is related to the pale. My condition. The case. Everything. It's all entroponetic."

"That is exactly what I didn't want you to think..." He sighs and turns to the woman. "Ma'am, my partner wanted to know if you work in pale transport."

"Yeah, no. Just for detective work. That's all I needed it for. Now..."

"That is exactly what I didn't want you to do..." He sighs and turns to the woman. "Ma'am, my partner wanted to know if you work in pale transport."

"Oh -- I'm contemplating, Kim. I'm drawing existential conclusions from this."

"Exactly what I didn't want you to do..." He sighs and turns to the woman. "Ma'am, my partner wanted to know if you work in pale transport."

"Great." The lieutenant concedes with a head shake. "He asked the Pines rep about the pale."

"I'm a detective. I need to know things."

"No. I just remembered it myself." (Point to your head.) "With my head."

"Fine." He's not buying it. "Just try not to black out again. And don't contemplate. We don't have time for that."

"You don't have to protect me from this. I'm a big boy."

"I can't operate in this world without knowing its basic terms."

"Oh meu deus, the Lawman solved the case..." She lights the cigarette. A white cloud of smoke disappears into her mouth.

"And here I was thinking you were an idiot." She breathes out and the air tastes sweet. "So, are you? An idiot, I mean."