Conversation · Kim Kitsuragi

"You know what I'm in on -- retrograde amnesia."

"Better still than an imbecilic Cop Off."

"Cop Off?"

"It's just stupidity." The lieutenant shakes his head.

"Actually, I have all I need for now."

"Good." The lieutenant nods.

"Now that we've inspected the scene -- I want to know more about this 'pissing competition' you mentioned."

"Would you say this is a mysterious case?"

The lieutenant considers your question a moment. Before answering: "No, it's not a particularly mysterious case."

"That's all I needed to know."

The lieutenant adjusts his collar. It doesn't look like he wants the case to be more mysterious.

"Why not?"

"The deceased is a security guard for a corporation involved in a labour dispute. It doesn't take a Dolorian polymath to put the pieces together. I just don't see the case getting more mysterious than that."

"Okay, so the case probably isn't mysterious -- but could it be sexy?"

"As you know, there was considerable interest in this case at my station, but probably not for the reasons you have in mind..."

Cut this boring stuff off immediately. You know what this case is about!

"Maybe there's a young woman involved?!"

"Yes, it just so happens there's a beautiful, blonde nineteen year old woman at the heart of this case. A rich one, in fact. Part of a murder-sex-cult."

The weary tone is the surest indicator that the lieutenant is being sarcastic.

"You're being sarcastic, aren't you?"

"Extremely."

It can still be an otherwordly sex-mystery in your head. With a dark twist, even.

He's basically challenging you to sex it up with some lurid twist. Don't get right into it, sit on it a bit -- then hit him with it!

"It doesn't have to be murder. It can just be sex."

"Actually it does have to be murder. This is a murder investigation. But we digress."

"It doesn't have to be a cult. It can just be sex-murder."

"That's commendable. Was there anything else?"

"Wow, really? That's mega sexy!"

"No, not really. Was there anything else?"

"Oh, I guess that settles it, then."

"Excellent. Was there anything else?"

"Are you sure there's not some sex-angle we should be considering?"

"Good point. Martinaise is famed for its occult sex-murder rites. We'll get on it immediately."

"There was some interest in this case at my station, but not for the reasons you have in mind. You seem to wish there was..."

"I was thinking something other-worldly might be involved. You know, something supra-natural."

"I can assure nothing like that will happen. Do you know why not?"

He's about to say it's impossible.

"Are you sure? I think something is already happening."

"No, something isn't happening. Because it's not part of..." He makes a precise hand gesture: "Reality."

The gesture resembles an orchestra conductor bringing the choir to a full stop.

So desperately mundane. You need to funk this case up.

There's something the lieutenant isn't seeing. The universe is too irrational, too morally complex. You should convince him.

"Why not?"

"Because it's not part of..." He makes a precise hand gesture: "Reality."

"Because it's impossible, I know that. Still..."

"Good. Yes. Because it's not part of Reality."

"Personally, I think labour disputes are very mysterious."

"Then you're in luck, because we're in the midst of a major strike by the Dockworkers' Union. Maybe more than that. The Union clearly wants a piece, not just of the Industrial Harbour, but the Wild Pines corporation itself..."

Is this a strike then -- or the first shots in a workers' coup?

"I expect the case itself to be less challenging than navigating these community matters. This district isn't used to the RCM's presence, and the Union rarely overplays its hand -- as it appears to have done in this case..."

"Wait, so is this a strike or an attempted coup?"

"Strike, coup, revolution, it's brigandage however you parse it."

You feel something... rising through you -- a familiar feeling. AN OPINION taking form...

"I don't think grounding one or the other side into pigsfeed will do anyone favours. I am really, really smart."

"When I said we have to navigate community matters, I did not mean we have any say in them. I meant we should be careful. If we are not... the shit will blow right in our faces." He makes a quick gesture towards his visage -- where the shit would blow.

From an imaginary fan.

"Now, was there anything else you wanted to know about the case?"

"We should ground the owners into fine paste and feed them to the pigs."

"We should ground the workers into fine paste and feed them to the pigs."

"I've spent the last 20 seconds deciding on which side to ground into pigfeed -- why?"