Conversation · Electrochemistry

You should pick that fat, juicy cigarette butt from the tray, light it up and smoke the living shit out of it!

The what now?

THE LIVING SHIT. Your mesolimbic reward pathway does not mince words. It wants smokes.

Am I a smoker?

Who knows what you are? A monster, a murderer, the Gnome of Geroma? You feel like a smoker, especially when you look at that juicy, succulent, seductive cigarette stub. Still smouldering deliciously...

But she broke it at the filter. I can't smoke that.

How very astute of you! This renders it ineffectual. You should look for a whole cigarette. Or better yet -- an entire pack! Strike that, a CARTON! Make sure they're all healthy and able-bodied, then smoke them all.

The idea seems to make your neck expand. Suddenly, the garish tie feels very snug.

Like a cat rubbing itself against its owner's calves. (A cat that wants you to smoke a lot.)

Or -- you could not do that. No one is making you.

Well... I'll think about it.

Good! Thinking about yummy cigarettes in your mouth is the next best thing. Make sure you think about juicy sticks of tobacco all the time, though. It doesn't count if it's not all the time.

And when you're done thinking about them, graduate to getting them.

Plus, smoking them gives massive bonuses.

I'll make it Priority One.

Good. They'll make you stronger and better. You're too old to be cool now, but find cigarettes, smoke them -- blam! Instantly a cool renegade man, a mystical red dragon with smoke rising from his nostrils!

I should not not do that.

I should enthusiastically do that!

Yes, I should do that.

Nah. [Discard thought.]