Conversation · Steban, the Student Communist

"I enjoy thinking about truly fundamental concepts, like the alphabet for instance."

"Hmm, so you're saying you've got to have a certain practical foundation before you move onto more abstract topics. Okay, I'm following..."

Now's your chance to end this interview on a high-note. Soon you're subjecting even the alphabet to a meticulous archaeologico-materialist critique.

"... but even abstractions as basic as letterforms must have some origin in material reality..."

"That's true. I recall from one of psycholinguistics lectures that the letter 'A' is derived from the proto-Perikarnassian glyph meant to represent a reed hut."

"That's in contrast with the International Language, which connects each letter to an abstraction."

"A fair point. It also reminds me of one of Mazov and Nilsen's unrealized projects, a universal system of communist pictographs, one that would allow revolutionaries to communicate and organise across any language barrier."

"Good god, have we really been talking about the alphabet for a quarter hour?" He looks down at his watch.

"It appears so."

This is a good start. They're starting to loosen up. You feel relaxed and in control. Soon you're subjecting even the alphabet to a meticulous archaeologico-materialist critique.

"I can't say how reliable it is, but I did just read a book on pale-centric medicine."

"Interesting, I always thought that stuff was common folk superstitions repackaged as bourgeois spiritualism, but maybe I've been overly dismissive?"

Now's your chance to end this interview on a high-note. Soon you're debating whether a de-commodified spirituality is even possible under capitalism...

Probably not, is the answer. Which isn't to say it isn't sometimes still useful.

"... but in the end I did learn how to make a poultice..."

"Oh? Sounds nice, actually. Comrade Mazov himself preferred chamomile tea, as I'm sure you're aware."

"Grain spirits are dangerous. That's why Comrade Mazov himself preferred chamomile tea, as I'm sure you're aware."

"To be perfectly honest, 'poultice' is one of those words I see around, but I have no idea what it means."

"... anyway it mostly seems like a way to bilk desperate people for money when they don't have access to real healthcare..."

"A Gottwaldian would tell you that it's an inescapable fact of modernity that we can only repackage our collective history in increasingly ludicrous forms..." He nods.

"Thank god we're no Gottwaldians."

"... but then I still don't really get what this whole 'pale' thing is about, so..."

"There are so many theories out there, most of them ridiculous. But we'd be here all night if we tried to get into them."

It's better not to know, that's what the wind is telling you.

This is a good start. They're starting to loosen up. You feel relaxed and in control. Soon you're debating whether a de-commodified spirituality is even possible under capitalism...

"Listen, books are fine and all, but to be straight with you, they're no substitute for a real story."

"Look guys, I've gotta be honest. I may not have 'read' many 'books', but that doesn't mean I don't have stories."

"Like you guys, I really get into political and historical subjects."

"For me, it's more about finding the right thing for the right moment."

"We prefer difficult books. Books that might destroy you, if you don't destroy them first."

"That's enough, Uli. It's the gendarme's opinions we're interested in."

(Crack your knuckles.) "Alright, let's do this interview."

Take a deep breath. You've done some reading these past few days. But you also know there's more to life than what you find in books...

You've survived things these kids can't even imagine. They've got nothing on you.

Remember: Where most people go wrong is in thinking they have to hide what they don't know...

Another thing, these young men have the most exquisitely tuned insecurity receptors you've ever witnessed.

Nope, still no words. Your confidence account is overdrawn. What are you even doing here?

Now you're just psyching yourself out. You've read plenty of books. Maybe try again once you've got your wits about you?

Maybe now's a good time to call it an evening. Why don't you find a good book, clear your mind, and come back when you're refreshed?

Have you considered reading a book? Those tend to have lots of words in them...

Okay, you got this. You got this. Just... open your mouth, and say the words...

"Uhhm..."

What are those sounds? They're like the last mumblings of a mortally wounded badger.

There's nothing you can do. It's like your lips have been glued together.

"Everything in order, detective?" The lieutenant gives you a concerned look.

Shake your head no.

"As in, 'No, everything is not in order'? Can you give me a negative, detective?"

What are you worried about? You've read plenty of books. Why don't you take a little pause, come back once your mind's clear?

Shake your head no.

"Is everything alright? Is there something you're trying to say?"

"It seems he's lost his words. A case of momentary aphasia, it looks like..." The lieutenant does not appear overly concerned.

It wouldn't be the first neurological episode you've experienced on this case.

"These things happen with him sometimes. I recommend a change of subject."

Nod your head.

This isn't going to work. Maybe there's some other way you could prove yourself to them?

"In any case, a change of subject might help."

Momentary aphasia, it seems. Just one more neurological episode for the station lazareth to look into during your next check-up.

"He looks like he's about to puke."

There might be a little bile gathering at the back of your throat, but it's just a taste. The source of this issue is higher up the wire...

"Would it help if we changed the subject?"