Conversation · A Pedestal of Speakers

Only the speakers remain, dusty and forgotten...

"Okay, now let me buy the speakers."

"The junk is yours, officer," the street vendor hands you the speakers. "Happy listening! Try not to hurt your ears with that Samaran garbage."

Inspect the sneakers.

A pair of FALN 'Ultras.' The design is impossibly sleek and simple -- a futuristic silhouette with a sleek monochrome colourway, a jet black upper, and a silver-lined midsole.

Dedicated! Victorious! Sporty! These FALN sneakers are a must-have for a track-and-field legend.

"Those sneakers, mister..." the street vendor intones. "Those sneakers are the latest FALN sneakers. Super-rare, super-fine, super-cool -- only 50 reál!"

Only?! That's madness.

FALN "Ultra" -- wear the future! You remember the slogan from some magazine...

"Can't I just buy the sad, conquered Samaran speakers?"

"No way, officer, these aren't for sale. They're bad speakers, low-fi socialist junk."

"But I need some speakers."

"Well, if you want them..." He pauses for a moment, calculating.

"On the one hand, these speakers are socialist garbage. On the other hand, you did buy the sneakers, so I don't really need them anymore..."

"Okay, officer, they're yours. For 50 cents."

"But see, they are the pedestal for my sneakers. If I let go of the speakers, where will the sneakers go? I can't leave premium lifestyle sneakers on the ground..."

"If, on the other hand, you wanted to buy the sneakers, too, I could maybe throw in the speakers for a little extra -- 50 cents."

Damn, so you have to buy the sneakers first.

Here's a crazy plan! Get the seed money for the sneakers, buy them, then buy the speakers too. Then sell the speakers to Roy, that wacky vendor in the pawn shop. They're right up his alley. You'll make most of the sneakers money back that way.

Silly idea, go away.

Of course, yes. Better not risk it.

I came up with that plan?

Yup. Hustle and grind, one reál at a time.

"You're right, I don't have time for junk, I lead a luxury life."

"That's right, officer!" The street vendor flashes you a smile. "You're a high-class policeman who accepts nothing less than the best! Lucky for you, I've got the best on sale!"

"That's why I want them. I think I might be low-fi socialist junk myself."

"No, officer, you're a high-class policeman who accepts nothing less than the best! Lucky for you, I've got the best on sale!"

"Wait, what if I do deserve more than a low-fi socialist sound system..."

"You do, officer, you do! Remember -- we don't have to resort to socialism, we can have nice things too! At socialist prices." He pats the boxes tenderly.

"You don't know what I am. I don't even know it myself." (Pause). "I want the speakers."

Inspect the speakers.

These once-mighty speakers have been conquered, reduced to a mere prop by the indomitable FALN 'Ultras' that used to crown them.

A small heat emboss on the veneer reads: "Solidarity Aid from the People's Republic of Samara." The speakers themselves don't seem to display any magical qualities.

"No-no, don't look at the speakers, officer! Look at the sneakers!" The man points to the footwear. "The sneakers are the stars here!"

"What about the speakers though? Doesn't anyone want those speakers?"

"These, officer? These speakers are Samaran garbage. I'm ashamed to even use them for props. Don't waste your time on them."

Samaran trash? That sounds like they're from the Samaran People's Republic, produced under the dictatorship of the proletariat.

"Okay, I'll look at the sneakers, then."

"Good move, officer. You won't find a deal like this anywhere."

"But I already bought the sneakers."

"So you did! Now put them on and look at them, officer! Make the people jealous of your premium lifestyle!"

Contemplate your sneakers in total silence.

"Oh," he exclaims, appearing to wipe a tear from his eye. "They're so beautiful I can hardly look at them."

"But I'm already wearing them." (Point to the sneakers.)

"That you are, officer," the street vendor says. "Stupid me! Go forth and live that premium lifestyle!"

"Poor little speakers." (Pat them.)

"No, don't pity them, officer! These are old Samaran garbage. Don't even look at them! Check out these super-cool FALN 'Ultras,' instead."

"But I already looked at the sneakers."

"Then look at them again! These are premium lifestyle sneakers, officer -- the best on the market!"

These once-respectable speakers have been conquered, reduced to a mere prop by the indomitable FALN 'Ultras' atop them.

[Leave.]

"I need those FALN sneakers."

"Super cool! Now the premium lifestyle is yours, officer."

The sneakers seem to vibrate in your hands with an almost mystical energy.

The speakers below are banged up and worthless. The sneakers triumph over them. They're the star of the show here.

You should go over and ask him about paying for those sneakers with your net worth.

You see two lowly, defeated speakers. Thralls, slaves basically. Perched atop them like conquerors surveying the land: a pair of FALN durable-wear sneakers, 'Ultra' series.

"I can see you've a taste for luxury, officer!" says the shopkeeper. "Can't keep your eyes off those sneakers?"

Speaking of luxury, you should go over and ask about paying for those sneakers with your net worth.