Conversation · Mysterious Pair of Eyes

There is no reply. Only silence lurks in the cavernous depths of the darkness beyond.

"Hey, come back! Where are you going?"

"Hell yes!"

"Well, maybe?"

"I sincerely doubt it. You're supposed to help people and handle actual crime. Not walk around like an oppressive tyrant, passing punishments however you feel."

"Oh. I don't do that... I think. As far as I remember."

"Aren't we the lucky ones then? But I'm getting real bored with this... maybe it's time to change the subject."

"But what if they really deserved it?"

"Isn't that what the judicial system is all about? The rules of law are developed and set for a reason. Well, this turned boring quickly... it's time to change the subject."

"Yes."

"I don't know if that's completely accurate..."

"You know what you've done, don't start denying it now."

"I haven't done anything!"

"A rallying cry for coppers everywhere! We haven't done anything, we are never of any use, ha ha."

"Oh whatever, I'm not going to give you the satisfaction."

"Aw, shucks! And here I was, getting ever so hopeful. Does the ardent cop-man want to ask more questions then?"

"What do you have against cops?"

"Nothing, sir, oh nothing at all! Please don't arrest me, I'm just a poor, honest man, trying not to make a mistake. Ha ha!" The sarcastic laughter effortlessly makes it's way through the thick gates. There's no stopping it.

"I don't actually remember much of what I've done."

"A serious bout of denial? Or perhaps the result of the incessant stream of alcohol you've been pouring down your throat?"

"Both, maybe?"

"Your life sounds like an immeasurable clusterfuck. Something's gone really wrong."

"It's gotta be something big and deep and important. Because certainly you aren't some regular asshole avoiding the fact that he goes around fucking up everyone's lives with their self-serving, egotistical arrogance?"

"I'm sure your story is very unique and not a stereotype-ridden re-hash of tired ideas."

"I don't actually want to talk about my personal life with a stupid voice behind a wall."

"A good thing, too! I am not one of your fatuous Königstein neurosis analyst fucks, cashing in on the anxieties of nice ordinary folk. So, what now, Mr. Sensational Sleuth, sir?"

"Think I don't know that?"

"Mm, the delights of existence. A constant anguish and concern over horrible things you don't even know about, but can imagine so vividly. Ha ha."

"Until doom comes and liberates us from all our woes."

"You've really fallen off the rocker, haven't you? This is getting boring, it's time to change the subject."

"Okay, enough already, this is making me feel even worse."

"Good plan, I was kinda getting bored of this topic already. What's next on the menu, Inspector Repression?"

"You don't know me."

"Sure thing, you pretty flower, you. Go and discover your exciting backstory. I'm sure it'll be one-of-a-kind."

"It's the booze, definitely. For certain. No doubt."

"O-ho! I wonder what harrowing mystery lies behind this feat of self-destruction."

"Denial...? I don't know."

"An intriguing mystery! I wonder what terrible secrets lie behind this dark and ominous veil, ha ha."

"Geez, sorry. I was just being curious?"

"Bi-curious or plain curious?"

"Umm... bi?"

"Yeah, I bet you are."

"Err... okay, I guess."

"Hum. Well, this went... nowhere. Zero fun and excitement here. I'm getting real bored, how about we change the subject?"

"What? I don't understand."

"Figures. What else is new! Certainly not a surprise when it comes to you nit-wit coppo-goons."

"Can you stop being such a jerk?"

"Ha ha ha ha!" A loud, derisive laugh echoes wildly through the gates.

"Whatever. Jerk."

"Ha ha. Okay, you've got me cornered there, good sir officer. Anyway, this is really boring... change the subject, why don't we?"

"Know what? Fine... no point in getting riled up by some clown trying to be abusive."

"I'm going to get over there and find you, mark my words!"

"Ha ha. Okay, good luck! I'm getting bored now... change the subject, why don't we?"

"Fuck you, man, come say that to my face."

"Is this one of those homo things that keeps coming up?"

"Ah, but of course! It's all a huge part of the secret homo-sexual underground."

"I'm still not sure that's an actual thing..."

"Of course it's not, you numbnuts!" A groan comes from the other side. "Unbelievable."

"Really?!"

"No." A groan comes from the other side. "You're a complete tool, aren't you."