Conversation · Lilienne, the Net Picker

I'm listening.

Before recorded history, men and women were able to do simple, very primitive things together sober. Acknowledge the situation -- and keep it basic.

"I'm a drunk -- don't know if you've noticed -- so I usually ask people to drink with me."

"I have and I don't really..." She hesitates.

Now! Go for it!

You just wanna go for a walk. What kind of a monster doesn't wanna go for a walk? Walks are innocent.

Walks are fucking great cardio. Very stable fat-burner. Aerobic exercise.

"Lilienne, walk with me."

"Just a walk?!" She feigns extreme surprise. "I don't know, officer -- I would not have taken you for an innocent perambulator."

"I am! That's why you should definitely agree."

She's thinking, eyes mapping your rugged features. "Where would this... walk take us, officer?"

Nothing creepy, strange, or out there. Keep it airy and simple.

Creepy? What is this kink-shaming?

"To the island of Ecstasy in the carnal Sea of Lust, baby."

"Wow..." She shakes her head, saddened somehow. "That is definitely a trek you're gonna take alone. Now if there isn't anything else I'd really like to get this net done."

That's exactly what I meant. Incredibly creepy.

Nah, it's definitely not that. She probably just wasn't ovulating right now. Never mind, back to questions.

You were good. Why did you have to get so creepy all of the sudden? Now it's just questions again.

"The tip of the peninsula is bound to have a good view." (Point northwest.) "Let's go there."

"Officer..." The lieutenant has discreetly taken a few steps back. "I thought we had a walk of our own in mind. One that results in a solved murder investigation?"

"Oh no, you come with us. Seriously, I insist." She smiles at the lieutenant and turns back to you...

"You need to understand that nothing is going to happen. We're just walking. That's it. Understood?"

Having the lieutenant along is a fail-safe measure against any possible funny-business.

Smile and nod.

"I guess I can come along for a quick stroll..." The lieutenant looks at you apologetically. "I mean if the ma'am insists, of course."

I'm really sorry.

"I do, yes. A stroll on the beach sounds nice, doesn't it?" She nods. "Alright. I'll see the kids haven't killed each other and we'll meet at Land's End in... fifteen minutes?"

She doesn't wait for an answer. You better get ready.

Was that... acceptance? It feels so normal. Nourishing even.

"I do, yes. A stroll on the beach sounds nice, doesn't it?" She nods. "Alright. I'll see the kids haven't killed each other and we'll meet at Land's End in... fifteen minutes?"

"Alright. It's a date... sort of."

"Let's call it a walk." The lieutenant adjusts his glasses and looks at you apologetically. "I will join you, if the ma'am insists."

"It's gonna be weird with the three of us. Let's just drop it." (Waive the date.)

"Fine," she replies with a shrug. "The date is dropped. Now what else can we discuss?"

You made her sad. She actually really wanted to go.

"Alright, I will walk with you." She raises her finger. "But you need to understand that nothing is going to happen. We're just walking."

"Just a good old fashion walk. I like it."

"Me too," she replies with sudden sincerity. "It's been ages since I just had normal conversation with one of you guys."

She means men.

"Alright. I'll go put the kids to bed and we'll meet at Land's End in... fifteen minutes."

"A stroll on the beach sounds nice." She nods. "Alright, I guess I'll be seeing you at Land's End in the evening. When it gets dark, alright?"

"Something could happen..."

"Yes," she replies with a smile. "Someone could get pushed in the water. Maybe even get laughed at. But I'm sure that's not gonna happen."

"I understand nothing."

"Charming. My man was like that too. Had to knock two of his teeth out to establish a good relationship dynamic." She chuckles. "I'll see you at Land's End in... let's say fifteen minutes."

"Charming. My man was like that too. Had to knock two of his teeth out to establish a good relationship dynamic." She chuckles. "I'll see you at Land's End in the evening. Be there after dark, alright?"

"There's a nice view on the beach I found." (Point northwest.) "Land's End."

"Is that a 'yes', ma'am? Is the walk happening?"

"Please, please come to a sober walk with me."

"This time, though..." (Imitate drum roll.) I thought I'd ask you for a walk."

What you're suggesting is highly experimental. Possibly dangerous.

Get out of here with your crazy fringe theories!

Alcohol-man? That's exactly what she needs! Now make her see that.

"Since the dawn of mankind, Al-Gul has watched over the re-procreation of our species. Lay with me. Let's celebrate the Gul."

"Now there's a whole shipment of big words." She looks at you from head to toe. "May mankind be plentiful, I guess? Can I get back to my nets now?"

She doesn't even understand you asked her out. Perhaps you're too sober to pull it off right now? Try again later.

"I wanna be close to you and there's but one way to intimacy..."

"Eh..." she looks confused. "What?"

"Drunk-date." (Tap on your throat.) "All we need is booze. The rest will follow."

"Funny. Funny sailor jokes." She nods, without smiling. "Sorry if I'm not laughing out loud, but the comedy has worn thin over the years."