Conversation · Rhetoric

Hey, psst...

Who -- me?

Yes, you. Word on the street is you're ready to start building communism again!

Get the fuck outta here! No. [Finish thought.]

'Again'?

Yes -- you're ready to start building communism again. You've built it before, they've built it before. Hasn't really worked out yet, but neither has love -- should we just stop building love, too?

Can't argue with that.

So, what about all that communism you've promised to build? Word on the street is you've woken up from a thousand years of slumber, promising to erect a version of communism many times greater than any attempted before. Is that true?

How come there's word on the street?

You keep saying things like down with the bourgeoisie, eat the rich, sodomize the land-owners, impale all people who have more than 25 reál in their pocket, literally murder all human beings regardless of their political beliefs -- that kind of stuff.

Oh, right. That sounds like me.

Funky-style. Very funky. So tell me. Do you have any questions before we fire up the Big Communism Builder, or do we get right down to it?

Wait, first -- what's this communism even about?

Failure. It's about failure.

Failure?

Yes! Abject failure. Total, irreversible defeat on all fronts! Absolutely vanquished, beaten, curb-stomped and pissed on -- until you came along! You will reverse the fortune of the workers of the world.

You alone, against every living thing, against every human alive: eight hundred trillion reál in the hands of an impossibly well organized ruling class; towering city blocks of bank-men who have the ears of prime ministers; million-headed armies of nations and the love of your own mother!

You -- against the atom, the charm and the spin. Where the whole world failed -- matter failed to bend to human will; human will failed to get out of bed and tie its laces -- you alone, single-handedly, will rebuild the dreams of the working class. You are The Last Communist.

Now get to work, comrade.

I don't do failure.

Of course you do! You are failure, you are Communism. Absolutely vanquished, beaten, curb-stomped, shat on. While everyone else is out partying, having a callous laugh, you will reverse the fortune of the workers of the world.

It's too tiring. I don't have it in me. I'm beat down and broken. (Opt out.)

Very well. I guess no one will build Communism then. Tell the working man it's over. Unless anyone has... objections?

No objections. It's mathematically impossible to achieve a classless society. Everyone knows this.

Let not failure ensnare you any further, beautiful pixie girl! Be an acrobat! A prancing faerie queen!

Did someone mention cocaine? Are we doing cocaine? No? I'm sure I heard someone say Cocainimism...

Anyone? Anyone else? There's no one?

There's one.

No. Shut up. I want to lie down and let the water carry me downstream. [Discard thought.]

What should I do?

You should build Communism -- precisely because it's impossible.

Roll up your sleeves and start building Communism. (Opt in.)

Oh yeah! Get the firing squads and the animal wagons ready!

Wait, what? Firing squads? You didn't say anything about those.

Too late to back out now. You can't make an omelet without breaking a few million eggs!

Roll your sleeves up further and breathe in the pristine air. [Finish thought.]

There's no one. Okay then. Lie down and let the water carry you downstream...

Good bye, Communism. [Finish thought.]

I've said some mildly left wing things but none of those.

Oh yes, the mask of ambivalence. Don't deny it. You're about to rip it off and reveal the monstrous seven-eyed lamb of global communism that will devour and masticate mankind.

Everyone can see that. So tell me, do you have any questions before we fire up the Big Communism Builder, or do we get right down to it?

I haven't said anything like that.

Okay, not in so many words. But don't deny it. You're about to rip off that mask of social democracy and reveal the monstrous seven-eyed lamb of global communism that will devour and masticate mankind.

Love has worked out really well for me. I'm a love winner.

Good. We need tender men like you building gargantuan communism. Word on the street is it's going to be ten thousand times larger than any communism previously attempted by human beings. Is that right?

Yes, we should all stop building love.

This conversation isn't really about love. Try to keep up, okay? This is about the communism you've promised to build. Word on the street is it's going to be ten thousand times larger than any communism previously attempted. Is that true?

Look around.

Psst, hey, you!