Conversation · Interfacing

"Just the basics. Cast-iron block, swirl-chamber-injection, dual-chains driving overhead camshafts, two valves per cylinder, hydraulic valve lash adjustment..."

"Uh... yes, that's right." He stares at you in surprise. "I am very impressed that you know these things."

"No." (Nod sadly.) "I wish I did."

"Okay." The lieutenant nods too. "That's confusing. Can we get back to business now?"

"That's what..." (Rub your chin.) "... a seven-litre V12?"

"Seven-point-two. Supercharged." The lieutenant is trying to suppress a smug smile. Unsuccessfully.

Saying these words brings him immense joy.

"Okay, let's move." [Leave.]

"Hang on, you're telling me you remember all these little mechanical details, but you have trouble remembering your name?"

"It's strange, I know. I don't even like motor carriages that much."

"Right," the lieutenant marks dryly. "Speed isn't for everyone."

What?! Speed isn't for...?! Oh... he means velocity. Yeah, that's definitely an acquired taste.

What?! Speed most definitely is for... Oh... he means velocity. Can't really get properly high on that so... Nevermind.

"I might not know much, but I do know I like motor carriages -- must be a subconscious thing."

"Strange... but plausible, I guess." He gives you a quick side-glance and turns to go. "I guess you're a bit of a... torque dork too."

He seems to like the idea.

"A fine machine..." (Run your hand over the smooth metal surface.)

"Don't leave fingerprints on the bodywork, I just had it polished."

Wow... he's not happy you called him a binoclard. He'll get over it.

"Yes." There's gentleness in the lieutenant's voice as his eyes run over the vehicle's contours. "An extraordinary machine."

It's nice and all, but why so modest? Put some zing into it. Flare it up. Slam it down!

Helium headlights would improve the range and quality of the visual field a lot.

It's a bit girly right now. Fit it with some proper off-road components.

"With a winch and mud tyres we could take it off the beaten path, Kim."

"We are not going to though, because this is clearly a sports motor carriage." Sounds like he has a strong concept of what this machine is.

"Okay, enough about the details."

"Anything else?"

"Ever thought about switching to helium headlights?"

"Actually, I have a pair at home -- just haven't gotten around to fitting them yet. I need to lay some wiring for the ballasts first..."

"Sounds like a hassle, but good luck."

"Thanks." The lieutenant smiles. "Are we done here?"

"If we ever get this case solved, maybe we can do it together?"

"You want to help?" He glances at you and smiles. "Thank you for the offer. That might be fun. Let's do the case first though, alright?"

He liked the idea.

"Oh..." The lieutenant rubs the back of his head. "Yes, let's definitely think about it."

He is not enthused about the idea.

"Maybe," he replies with an apologetic smile and nods. "Yes, definitely maybe."

... and means no.

"You need to slam it, Kim. Make it more imposing."

"Sorry, I'm not following you?"

Lingo it up.

"Drop the ride two hundo mill, get the camber to frosty-frosty minuses..."

"No, that's... porno-tuning."

USE BIGGER WORDS!!!

"It needs a MASSIVE aero-kit and GARGANTUAN roof-mounted..."

"Porno. That's short for pornography."

The sole purpose of 'pornography' is to stimulate one's visual sense to evoke sexual arousal -- the same is true with the modifications you're proposing.

"Pornograpy is something completely different, Kim."

"That's a negative on the porno. Thank you, though."

No one in the history of convictions has been more sure of anything.

"So? What's wrong with pornography?"

"Alright, I guess it did get a bit porny there."

"I'm sincerely relieved I don't have to try and convince you of that." He glances at his vehicle. "Back to work?"

"Wait, what about the spinners then, huh?"

"Those spinners were elegant, sleek..." He pauses, looking for words. "Radiant, even. What you're suggesting is porno."

"Trust me, it's cool."

"It's what?"

"I'm not either. Don't know why I said that."

"Well," the lieutenant says, frowning ever so slightly, "maybe don't just say every little thing in your head out loud. It confuses people."

"Agreed, let's keep moving." [Finish thought.]