Conversation · Cuno

"Yeah, fuckin' babybeard. Cleaned all your shit up. He's like your fuckin' mom now or something."

"What do you think I should do now, Cuno?"

"The fuck you askin' Cuno for?" He seems annoyed somehow. "How would Cuno know? Cuno's fucking twelve!"

"Relax, Cuno -- I know what to do."

"Oh really?" He doesn't seem to believe you. "You can't get to that fat fuck Evrart anymore, 'cause the harbour's locked down. Half the Hardie bitches are dead and your company bitch sailed off."

He's really been keeping tabs -- on you, the Hardies, even the company rep.

"Cuno thinks you're fucked," he concludes with a solemn nod. "But I can help you. What'cha got? Bounce that shit off Cuno."

I again. Something in him is shifting, changing.

Let's do this tango, pig, he thinks. Detective Pig and detective Cunn on the case. We bouncin'.

Cunn and Pig? And you're picking him up on your cop-frequency too. This is... bad.

"Thanks for your help, Cuno." (Conclude.)

"Shit ain't nothing to Cuno," he says with a nod. "What now?"

"I don't know but I won't give up, Cuno."

"Will-pig." He nods. "You ready to walk, will-pig?"

"I'm giving up. Time to start drinking."

"Fuck off, Cuno's not into this old man piss-drinker shit." There's a short pause as he shakes his head. "You ready to walk now?"

Say nothing.

"What, you mute now? Are you ready to walk?"

"It's simple, Cuno. I have to find communism. Communism killed the hanged man."

"Is that like a fucking street name or something?" The kid stops to think. "It's pretty cool to Cuno."

"Okay."

"So... you're gonna go after this Communism, or you wanna bounce something else off the Cuno?"

"The coolest, Cuno. But unfortunately it's an ideology, not a person."

"C'mon, pig..." The kid snaps his fingers. "Thoughts didn't kill Cuno's gimp. It was a person. Even Cuno can figure this shit out."

"It's not that cool. And it's not a person, but an ideology."

"Communism is stupid, Cuno. And it's not a person. It's an ideology."

"I can suddenly see how it's hard to indict someone who is not actually a person, but an ideology..."

"You're starting to lose the Cuno." He's looking around. "Sounds like you ain't got shit to go by here."

"There's something creeping around out there. I sense it."

"Yeah, like what?" He seems to like the idea.

"Something."

"Shit..." He shakes his head, disappointed. "Playing the Cuno like that... You better have something else for me."

"Nothing."

"There were some footprints in the dust in the room behind Klaasje's..."

"There are fuckin' footprints everywhere, pig. Pigs are too into this footprints shit..." He shakes his head. "Cuno just saw footprints outside on the sidewalk."

"There's a... 28% possibility the victim was shot from a distance."

"Yeah that sounds real to Cuno. Forensics-shit. True crime shit." The kid punches his palm. "Let's check out some crime scenes and assess shit. Pig-style! Anything else?"

He's genuinely impressed, but that's mostly to do with how scientific that percentage sounded.

"There was a hole in Klaasje's wall -- someone was checking her out. Peeping."

"Huh?" The kid appears to be thinking. "That could've been there for years. Cuno thinks it's a dead end."

"Yeah, it probably is."

"Walls are full of holes in here, pig. Even Cuno knows that."

There is no telling when it was made. He had a point there.

"The fuck Cuno?"

"You want Cuno to be your yes-man, or you want me to tell it like it is? Walls are full of holes here, pig. Even Cuno knows that."

"The fucking May bells, Cuno, the flowers!"

"Yeah? What? What bells?"

(Yank it out and show the dried flower, while it falls to pieces.) "This flower, Cuno!"

"Fuck, pig..." He looks at you with a worried glance. "Cuno doesn't know about this flower shit. Cuno's not feelin' it."

He's wrong! What does he even know?!

"Okay."

"Shit, pig... You better have some more shit than fuckin' roses or something."

"No, Cuno -- somehow this is connected to the case."

"Sure, pig. Sure." He shakes his head. "You better have more than some fuckin' roses if you wanna bust this."

"Yeah? What? What bells?"

"They were on the roof. I did not... I did not catch them. Fucking butterfingers..."

"The miracle hasn't happened yet. It's not over yet."

"Miracle? Shit... What is this weak shit? You gotta watch your own back, miracles don't fuckin' happen in Martinaise. Get real."

"You don't... know?"

"Tough shit, pig." He crosses his arms. "All Cuno knows is the harbour is in lockdown, town's fucked now. Half the Hardie bitches are dead and even your company bitch left."