Conversation · Kim Kitsuragi

(Point to the lieutenant) "You see, Kimothy here got himself into a jam..."

"I didn't," the lieutenant says quietly. "Let's not do stories. Let's do questions."

No, no. Don't listen to him. This is gold stuff. Now let's get didactic!

"Kimmo got to thinking he could trust this bad chick. Because she was hot. So he asked her to lie for him. She promised she would -- then ratted him out. Almost cost him his job."

"So you got, played huh?" Titus glances at the lieutenant.

Good. You got his attention. Now reward it with a metaphor.

"Like a damn deck of cards."

"Yes, yes, like a deck of cards..." He turns to Titus. "The point is, this allegorical Kim should've just told the truth."

"You need to man up and take charge, little guy. Shit's got to be equal in a couple. Listen to your buddy Titus here." He points to himself. "Nothing like this would ever happen to a Hardie boy."

"Thank you, I'll try," he says dryly. "Please understand that Kim in this story was an allegory for you. You shouldn't try to hide the truth."

"Sure, binoclard -- allegory." Titus looks at him with a sympathetic smile. "You didn't get played -- Titus did. I'm gonna do you a solid and change the subject, okay?"

A man like Titus is way too confident to get that analogy.

This man would rather live in a fantasy world where he isn't a complete loser. You need to be more forceful the next time.

"Like a three-string banjo."

"Yes, yes, three-stringed banjo..." He turns to Titus. "The point is, this allegorical Kim should've just told the truth."

"Titus, she played Kim like a miniature train set."

"Yes, yes, a miniature train set..." He turns to Titus. "The point is, this allegorical Kim should've just told the truth."

"Okay, maybe there is no story, but listen to this!" (Take me back to the good ideas.)

Fair enough. I was just gonna make it up on the way. Here come the other good ideas!

You guys are always telling me they're good and then they aren't!

Those are the other guys. My shit is solid gold. You can trust me.

Can I? All those ideas looked really bad...

Oh, you don't like these arguments? Let's see you come up with your own then! C'mon, everyone's waiting! Where are they?

Why is Goldmouth mean to him? Something is wrong. It doesn't look like he's succeeding.

Whatever -- just do the fiddle-thing, sire. It'll be artistic... and if you've already done it, do it again!

Okay, but please -- I can't afford to fail now. I've come too far...

That's right. Titus is ready to break. You've come too far not to trust me now, pussy-boy!

Pussy-boy? What the hell is going on here? That does not sound trustworthy at all.

(Whisper to the lieutenant.) "Kim, I can't keep doing this. You take the wheel."

The lieutenant inclines his head, only slightly. "Thanks for your time, Titus. Case closed." He takes out his notebook and writes a few words. "Let's go, officer."

"Huh?" He looks surprised.

"Really. We're ready to begin our report. I've already started, actually." He turns back to his notebook, and writes as he speaks:

"In Martinaise they just kill you because they don't like you..."

"Yeah, let them know!" The little guy slams his fist on the table. "We'll kill you dead."

"Kim, I'm gonna need your gun again. "

"That is absolutely not going to happen."

"Gun me, Kim!"

" ... "

"Don't talk -- just gun me."

"But I didn't say anything."

"What are they whispering, Titus? I can't hear anything."

"I don't know." He shrugs. "Some kind of bitch fight, I think." He snaps his fingers at you. "Hey, bitches! No fighting in the Union booth! Talk or walk!"

So you put the gun in your mouth for the other guy -- couldn't even get it in your hand for me? This is bullshit. We'll never convince them without a gun.

You're a horrible gunless cop. This is all because you don't have a gun. You're never going to convince anyone without a gun.

"Can't you trust me with it for just a second?"

"No," he whispers. "God no."

"No," he whispers. "You almost shot that girl. I don't want to..."

"Not the point," he whispers. "I just don't want to give you my gun."

I don't know what went wrong the last time. You have so many good ideas here. Make them all see they're puppets on a string.

Klaasje is playing them like a fiddle -- tell them how bad they got played and they'll tell you the truth. There are many ways to go about it -- all of them really good.

You keep failing cause you haven't failed enough times. You just need to go over and over and over this.