This fan has two chain pull switches -- one ends in a tiny fan, the other in a light…

This fan has two chain pull switches -- one ends in a tiny fan, the other in a light bulb. A truly horrific necktie has somehow attached itself to one of the blades.

Or has it been consigned there as punishment? You feel as though this creature is your friend and wants to reattach itself to your neck. So that you may continue your adventures together in this strange world!

[Leave.]

Grab the tie.

You swoop up and catch the tie... Snap! It's released from the blade.

What you have in your hand is a fantastically colourful tie, with four or five different patterns. The knot reminds you of a noose.

If it's your friend, why was it up there? Who ties their friend to a ceiling fan? Maybe this thing is dangerous somehow...

An ominous, foreboding feeling fills you, as you look at the tie.

What you have in your hand is a truly hideous necktie, with four or five different patterns. The knot reminds you of a noose.

Oh no, it's happening again. You didn't catch it and now there's numbness in your left arm, plus half your chest.

You can take this one too. Just breathe in slowly.

Grab your arm.

None of these is a real heart attack. This is such a joke. You should probably just exercise more.

This is not a real heart attack. This is a joke. It's probably just your lungs or your oesophagus. The oesophagus does practically nothing.

It's even worse this time. Maybe you should stop trying to catch the tie?

Still happening. Definitely worse than the last time.

Finally the stabbing recedes. You could try doing it again to see how painful it gets -- but you would probably die.

This is bad. Feels like sharp stones grinding in your chest and keeping you from moving.

For quite a long time.

Still ongoing. Now is a good time to start worrying.

Finally the pressure recedes. You find yourself covered in cold sweat and trying not to move -- hoping it will keep you from dying.

You know what you should do? You should stop the fan and then try again, it'll get easier.

Do it -- if you want to die, the stabbing pain in your chest is telling you. You're hanging by a thread here...

You reach out to grab the tie... but what's this? Diffuse, radiating chest pain! Doom comes over you.

You can take it. Just breathe in slowly.

Grab your chest.

Breathe in calmly.

Oh no, it's happening again. You didn't catch it and now there's numbness in half your chest.

You can take this. It's not nearly as bad as the last time.

Press your hands to your chest to make sure your heart is still beating okay.

This isn't a real heart attack. You should probably just exercise more.

This is not a real heart attack. This is a joke. It's probably just your lungs or your oesophagus. The oesophagus does practically nothing.

It's worse this time. Maybe you should stop trying to catch the tie?

Still happening.

Still bad. Definitely worse than the last time.

Finally the stabbing recedes. You could try doing it again to see how painful it gets. (Very.) But do you really want to risk it?

This is bad. Feels like sharp stones grinding in your chest and keeping you from moving.

For quite a long time.

Still ongoing. Now is a good time to start worrying.

Finally the pressure recedes. You find yourself covered in cold sweat. Try not to move too fast -- maybe that will keep you from collapsing.

Breathe in and out calmly.

You reach out to grab the tie... but what's this? Radiating chest pain! Fear washes over you.

You can take it. Just breathe.

Grab your chest.

Pull on the light bulb.

The lights are off again.

The lights are on.

A terrible mistake! Turn the lights off IMMEDIATELY! You can practically feel the photons burning a hole in your brain.

It's just a little hangover-induced photosensitivity. Don't over-react.

Bring it on.

Little black spots dance on your retinas. It's almost pleasurable.

Your eyes burn with photosensitivity. It's not good.

Pull again to turn the lights off.

The lights are off.

Pull on the fan.

The switch must be broken, because nothing happens. The air in the room is starting to feel like vaporized urine.

The blades come squeaking to a halt. It should be easier to reach the tie now.

The fan is spinning.