There they both are -- two identical shoes, both copiously green and indiscriminately…

There they both are -- two identical shoes, both copiously green and indiscriminately snake-skin. Reunited on your feet!

Like two baby crocodiles.

Wait, these do not look like normal cop shoes...

It's pretty clear a normal cop is not what you are.

You may be what they call a big dick cop.

How do they fit?

Good. They're balanced. Comfy. Feels like the only good thing about you right now, truth be told.

[Discard thought.]

Go ahead, just as long as you don't discard those crocodile babies.