You should totally sing karaoke here, the first chance you get. Your emotions need to be…

You should totally sing karaoke here, the first chance you get. Your emotions need to be expressed. People need to know of your vast, oceanic soul.

My soul is immense.

Utterly. And it needs to be heard.

Through a PA system.

By other people.

Whether they like it or not. Ram it up their ears, says your adrenaline gland. Violently express yourself.

[Finish thought.]

What should I sing, when it comes to it?

You should sing the sad, small church song, duh. Thought it was obvious...

I was thinking maybe I could sing something happy. Get the crowd going.

No-no, don't sing the happy song, it's stupid. Sing the sad song, it's profound.

You have to find out how the song goes first, though... maybe a tape of something appropriate would help.

I was thinking maybe I could sing something happy. Like, from those Ostentatious Orchestrations folks...

Of course! They'll really get a gauge on my soul with that one.

Serves them right! Wipe that smirk off their face with your sad, tragic small church song. Who's laughing now? No one.

Serves them right! Wipe that smirk off their face with your sad, tragic song. Who's laughing now? No one.

You should sing the sad small church song from that tape you found. Thought it was obvious...

You should sing the sad, slow song you were listening to last night. Thought it was obvious...

You should sing that sad song you were listening to last night. Thought it was obvious...

You have not yet stumbled on the right lamentation. But it's out there. It'll come to you. You'll wreak havoc with it, don't worry.

Lamentation sounds good. They'll really get a gauge on my soul with that.

Serves them right! Wipe that smirk off their face with your sad, tragic song. Who's laughing now? No one.

You have to find something tragic to sing first, though.

I was thinking maybe I could sing something happy. Get the people going.

No-no, don't sing the happy song, it's stupid. Sing the sad song, it's profound.

This goes well with a theory I'm developing: that I'm a down-on-my-luck superstar person.

Who is mistakenly identified as a cop for his prominent jaw line? Yes, sounds likely. You should probably go on stage and pose for a moment when you're done with this thought. See if it works.

There has been precisely no evidence to the contrary. So yes, Yes, it's likely. You should probably go on stage and pose for a moment when you're done with this thought. See if it works.

[Discard thought.]

My soul is puny.

Of course. Like a small animal that only comes out at night. All it needs -- is to be heard.

My soul is modest. It's normal sized.

Exactly. It's measured, level-headed, and it needs to be heard.

My soul's cubic content is obscured by the hangover.

Of course. At this point, precise measurements of your soul can only be performed from the outside. It needs to be heard.