This hat is so soft, so warm. It wraps around your head... and your mind tingles with all…

This hat is so soft, so warm. It wraps around your head... and your mind tingles with all manner of socio-economic theory.

This is an ushanka, right? (Pat the hat.)

Kras Mazov would have worn this ushanka. Mazov knew where to cook those thoughts, that's why it bears a Mazovian logo.

Glory to the Revolution, comrade! Whether you like it or not, wearing this hat has made you more communist.

Oops, it's a fashion faux pas! [Discard the thought -- and the hat.]

Let's hope no one saw you wearing that outrageously communist hat.