Book "Medicinal Purposes of the Pale"

"Medicinal Purposes of the Pale." The cover of this heavy tome features a number of esoteric symbols.

I want to try concoct one of those hangover-cures again.

Very well. First, choose a base ingredient.

A sprig of fresh mint.

Next, you'll need to combine the base ingredient with an appropriate vehicle.

Mix it with a dram of whiskey.

Lastly, is there anything else you'd like to add?

A few pomegranate seeds.

You've created a delicious tincture of whiskey and ginger. According to the pharmacopoeia, it should increase your energy and focus, though in your experience it's only done the opposite.

If only you could find one of these right now and drink the shit out of it. The book said it's good for you, so it would be okay.

Would you like to try again?

No, this stuff is all a bunch of hooey, anyway. (Close the book.)

You close the book and find yourself staring at the familiar cover once more.

Yeah, let's try again.

The tincture you've invented sounds intriguing, but its medicinal value is suspect, to say the least. Safe to say it won't cure your hangover.

Whoever wrote this never heard of the hair of the dog. Fuck this book. See if there's a bar open that'll still serve you.

You've created a julep of mint. It won't help your hangover, but it does seem like it would be refreshing on a warm summer's day.

The cool damp of the city has penetrated to your very marrow. Summer is a long way away.

The tincture you've invented sounds intriguing, but its medicinal value is suspect, to say the least. Safe to say it won't cure your hangover.

God only knows what to call this thing you've created, but drinking it would likely make your problems worse, not better.

You should drink it anyway.

The ginger root will help with the nausea and the birch bark tea will help you flush out the toxins. The ginseng should give you more energy, as a nice bonus.

You imagine yourself with a mug of this tea in a chair by the window. It's a beautiful image, but will it ever come true for you?

The very thought of this tea causes your muscles to relax and your mind to clear. You're more present and in control than you were a moment ago.

Alright, time to get back to work. (Close the book.)

You close the book and find yourself staring at the familiar cover once more.

Mmmm. (Savour the feeling a moment longer.)

A tingle rushes down your spine and you feel your toes uncurl. If only it could always be like this.

Great, so where can I get all this stuff?

From the pale, of course. Or perhaps from some enterprising entroponaut. Where you would find one of those, though, the book does not say.

The ginger root will help with the nausea and the birch bark tea will help you flush out the toxins. The sugar just makes it taste better.

The ginger root will help with the nausea and the birch bark tea will help you flush out the toxins. The pomegranate seeds are a natural aphrodisiac, as a nice bonus.

The combination of mint and birch bark make this tea relaxing and good for the digestion. It won't do much for your hangover, though.

Would you like to try again?

Yeah, let's try again.

No, this stuff is all a bunch of hooey anyway. (Close the book.)

You close the book and find yourself staring at the familiar cover once more.

This tastes so bad it can only be good for you. According to the pharmacopoeia, it should help you perform your marital obligations.

The ginger and aloe vera make this poultice ideal for the treatment of arthritis. It won't do anything for your hangover, though.

Be that as it may, it might have been useful to have such a thing for the trials you'll soon be facing. It's a shame you can't get your hands on these ingredients.

The mint and aloe vera make this poultice ideal for soothing inflammation and minor burns. It won't do anything for your hangover, though.

The rue and aloe vera make this poultice ideal for alleviating minor injuries and inflammation. It won't do anything for your hangover, though.

A spoonful of sugar.

Some wild ginseng root.

Mash it into a paste with some aloe vera extract.

Boil it with a tea made from birch bark.

Ginger root.

Common meadow rue.

[Put the book away.]

Open the book.

Flipping through the book you find a number of sections on the general benefits of the pale. A large pharmacopoeia makes up nearly half of the book.

What's a pharmacopoeia?

You come across the following explanation: "While modern pharmacopoeia are continually updated by so-called 'experts' based on the results of 'clinical trials,' readers will find assembled here the timeless wisdom relied upon by generations of traditional Seolite medicine practitioners, Mesque mystics, and Iilmaraan folk doctors."

It's all quackery, in other words.

Finally, something to calm the angry spirits that have been plaguing you.

It seems to contain descriptions of the medicinal properties of various ingredients that may be gathered from the pale, as well as instructions for producing a variety of herbal remedies.

Anything about curing an apocalyptic hangover?

There's nothing in here that speaks to hangovers directly. However, while browsing through the various descriptions you become convinced that you could assemble something from the ingredients listed here. Want to give it a shot?

(Rub your hands together.) Alright, book, let's see what you got.

First, you need to choose a base ingredient.