Conversation · Sunday Friend

Back off -- now! This man has diplomatic immunity. It serves no good to accuse him of a crime he didn't commit.

"What gets on my nerves is murderers. Why'd you kill him, man?"

"I won't stand for this." His left eye starts twitching -- as the last warning. "What's your name? I'll have your badge!"

"I'm in-between names right now."

"You'll be in-between jobs soon! Get out, this instant!" He points at the door.

"Good god, detective. One more stunt like that and they'll have you institutionalized."

"Now let's go, before you get us into any more trouble."

"Remember that guy, Ace Ulsterberg?" the redheaded officer asks. He leans against the doorframe while his bald companion is hunched over an open filing drawer...

"The guy who got canned for trying to arrest that diplomat?" the bald man asks. "Well, technically he got canned for being shit-faced on the job. But yeah, trying to arrest the ambassador from Gottwald while shit-faced was probably a contributing factor..."

The bald man squints at a file, then returns it to the cabinet. A new drawer opens with a grinding screech. He turns back to the redhead in the doorway. "What made you think of him now?"

"Don't know. He just kinda popped into my mind." "Ahem, excuse me, Chester," says a female officer who threads her way into the file room. "Where is old Ace now?" the bald officer asks.

Here the female officer chimes in: "I believe he's part of a certain bureaucrat's security detail." "No fucking way!" The redhead is dumbfounded. "How'd he pull that off?"

"Family connections, I'd imagine? His father-in-law works for the Office of Standards and Best Practices." With that, the woman exits, a grey file folder tucked under her arm.

"Harrier Du Bois, and don't forget it."

"Very well, Mr. Du Bois. You're a disgrace to the RCM. Get out, this instant!" He points at the door.

"I don't even have my badge -- so spin on this!" (Give him the finger.)

The lieutenant goes pale. 'No badge?' he mouths to himself, silently.

"You're a disgrace to the RCM. Out with you, this instant!" He points at the door.

"I am Detective Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau, at your service."

"You're doing me no service! Get out, this instant!" He points at the door.

"My name's Harry."

"Very well, Harry. You're a disgrace to the RCM. Get out of my sight, this instant!" He points at the door.

"Around these parts I go by Tequila... Tequila Sunset."

"What kind of name is that? You're a disgrace. Get out, this instant!" He points at the door.

"You can just call me The Law."

"You're a disgrace to the law! Get out, this instant!" He points at the door.

"Kim's right. I'm sorry. I haven't been myself lately."

"Well, I can certainly understand that." The man loosens his tie knot and appears to relax slightly. "That hanging was a surreal play. Everything since then has been too..."

"I was on the balcony when it happened, getting some fresh air. I remember that first they came in, carrying what looked like a body, and then I saw all the surrounding windows go dead one-by-one..."

"That's when I understood -- I should not be seeing this."

The lieutenant nods to you. "That lines up with previous testimony, doesn't it? Well done, detective."

"Thank you, sir. I think we've got the picture. Anything else stand out?"

"Only that there were about eight or ten -- I couldn't make out anything, it was so dark -- and that it was quiet," he says, smoothing his hair. "Quietest lynching I ever heard of, let alone heard..."

"But I suspect you knew that already. I can't say I'm surprised. The fine reputation of the men and women serving in the RCM is well deserved."

"How many of them were there?"

"I couldn't tell you exactly. Less than ten. Maybe eight?"

The lieutenant sends you a sharp look at the mention of that number.

"Were any of them huge? Like 200 kilograms huge?"

"That's a giant you're describing. No, they were all quite human, so far as I could tell."

"What happened next?"

"I went back inside."

Yes, back inside. Keep yourself safe from the killing.

"Were you able to see anything from inside?"

"Officer, the yard was pitch black. There was nothing to see. But I could still hear their voices. They were threatening to kill that poor man."

"What happened next?" (Proceed.)

"Well, that's the strangest part, officer. Nothing happened. It was oddly quiet for a public lynching."

"Hmm, the novelty dicemaker also mentioned that she didn't hear any signs of a struggle."

"Eventually their shouts died down, and that was all. There were no gunshots, no celebratory shouts, no anything."

"Why didn't you call the RCM?"

The man wipes his glasses. "You're right, of course. That is what one is supposed to do in such circumstances. I was simply in shock..."

"I'm afraid I don't have anything else to add."

"About what time was all this happening, approximately?"

"All I can say is that it was late."

"You didn't check your watch?"

"My watch..." He looks at his watch, as though noticing it for the first time. "Yes, now I remember -- it was thirty minutes past midnight, give or take."

"So let me get this straight. You didn't actually witness the hanging itself, did you?"

"No, I didn't see the corpse until the following day."

"It seems this wasn't the 'break' you were hoping for..."

"I think we have everything we need," the lieutenant says, closing his notebook. "Thank you for talking to us, Mr. Villedrouin."

"Of course, anything I can do to assist the RCM."