Conversation · Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy

The comfortably wealthy want their views challenged when making a purchase. Don't hold back.

"You're actually the first person to see this painting after the artist."

"You mean even you haven't looked at it?"

What he wants to know is how exclusive it is. The more untouched it is, the better.

"Oh yeah. Duh!"

"Still, only two people have seen it thus far. That makes it pretty exclusive and therefore potentially valuable."

"And if I don't buy it now, more people will see it -- ergo its value will drop."

It's now or never!

Great work. I think you've got him. Let's see what he says...

"Well, I think that settles it. You've found a buyer, my friend. A pleasure transacting with you." The light around him warms you like a friendly embrace.

"However, there are a few complications.... I don't have the cash on me right now to pay for art of this calibre. What I can instead offer are shares in Mauer-Koshlai Mercury Group."

Shares -- that's even better. You can do a lot with them if you play your cards right.

"What is Mauer-Koshlai Mercury Group?"

"It's a Gottwaldian-Iilmaraan company that specialises in extracting mercury. It's seen massive growth lately due to the discovery of rödfärg mercury."

"Have you heard about it? At the moment, it's trading at more than 1.5x the price of gold. That's because it's an essential component in the next generation of radiocomputers..."

"Rehm's using it in their next model. I can't wait for mine to turn up! My predictions say its improved speed and azimuthal range should increase my trade efficiency by a whopping 46%. You really should order one if you don't want to be left behind."

He's right, the combination of Rehm's solid engineering and the new rödfärg mercury valves is huge.

A step forward for technology, yes -- but only for those who can afford it.

"What are 'shares' and what can I do with them?"

"They are the very unit of capital. You can buy them, sell them, even sit on them if you think it wise. Trust me when I say this -- becoming a shareholder means you're part of the big leagues."

"What are these shares worth?"

"I bought these shares many years ago for a steal. As predicted, Mauer-Koshlai Mercury's operating profit has increased year on year, and there's no signs of it slowing down. People always need mercury."

"Which means you could net yourself a considerable profit if you need some immediate liquidity. But if you don't mind waiting I expect the value of these shares to double within the next five years."

Seems like a clever investment. Definitely worth thinking about if you care about your future.

Yes, but chances are you can't use them to buy anything right now. No cigarettes, no alcohol, no funky little colourful pills...

"We have a deal." (Accept offer.)

"Splendid." You hear the sound of expensive fabrics brushing against each other. When it stops, a roll of paper emerges from the radiance.

It looks almost ethereal -- is it even real?

(Take the scroll.) "Thanks."

The light around the individual in front of you changes somehow as you take the scroll. You can't figure out what's different -- you just know that it is.

There! The blinding light dimmed just long enough for you to see his true form! He looked like a regular middle-aged man!

Something's rattling within you. It feels like the first penny dropped into a piggy bank.

This transaction has changed the physical relationship between you. You are now more alike somehow.

The Weiss-Wiesemann coefficient for you and this individual has now dropped to .9989 repeating.

"That concludes our part of the transaction. Once you've turned over the asset, my people will get the legal ball rolling."

After you hand over the artwork, the voice from the light says: "Another deal complete. Welcome to the big leagues! If you haven't already, I'd advise you to consider hiring a Personal Brand Strategist."

"Could you hook me up with one?"

"Unfortunately not. I only know the ones who work with multi-millionaires and beyond. But take a look around and I'm sure you'll find one. Personal Brand Strategists are attracted to money like sharks to blood. You'll find having net worth opens many new doors for you."

Here's an avant-garde proposal... What about Idiot Doom Spiral? He used to hustle and hang with the sales hawks and trend pushers of the marketing world. Let's ask him if he knows any Personal Brand Strategists.

Oh, and we should see what this net worth can do. Might score a discount, or better yet, get you some free goods. That's the kind of thing that really makes you feel like a hotshot. Ask the local merchants about it if you get the chance.

"So! What's next on the agenda?"

Personal Brand Strategist, huh? Not the kind of person you're likely to find around here. We'll have to ask anyone who seems like they might understand marketing, reputation management... someone who dreams big.

Joyce might be able to help?

She could, but she represents the Wild Pines, which is the top of that particular game. No way she's stepping down from there. We need someone lower down.

Garte seems to have his life together.

He's nothing more than a middle manager living a middle-class life -- your aspirations are much more ambitious than that.

Evrart seems to know a thing or two...

That old communist?! The only thing he'll strategize is a plan to redistribute your hard-earned money to losers and moochers!

No one comes to mind...

We'll stumble upon someone, someone with the right amount of can-do attitude... I'll let you know when we do. Just keep your eyes open!

"What does a Personal Brand Strategist do?"

"What don't they do?" The shiny magnate chuckles. "They practically do everything -- from spotting good investments and analysing design trends, to booking a lunchtime table at the prestigious L'Ambroisie."

"What's that?"

"This is a stock certificate. Well, a photocopy of one. Nevertheless, it's solid proof that you own shares in Mauer-Koshlai Mercury Group."

"Thanks, but I need some time to think about it." (Decline for now.)

"Not a problem. The offer stands for as long as I'm around these parts."

(Lie.) "I haven't so much as squinted at it. It's the exclusivity that gives it value."

"I see, so by artificially constraining supply you're also stimulating demand. I have to say, it's a brilliant strategy..."

Wow, he worked it out all by himself. Such a clever boy. But is he gonna pay up?

"Staring at it long enough lets you immerse yourself in karperie."