"Hi, ace detective." She smiles warmly. "Are you here for more books?"

Her eyes grow wide as she tries to comprehend the outburst. "I'm sorry, sir?"

"You heard me! I'm full of pride and I ready to talk about books. Let's do this."

"Yes... yes, sir!" She blinks her eyes rapidly, in confusion and relief.

Right. Activate Denial Mode.

You're not really an automaton, you do know that?

"Little girl, pardon the deviation. I wish to discuss books and other such matters."

"I don't need help, I need a real book that tells it how it is, not this drivel."

"On second thought, this seems like an inappropriate topic to discuss with children."

"Doesn't ring a bell? Alright, I'll ask your mom."

"Yes!" She nods, relieved. "She knows books, definitely."

What was that? An idea for an unfinished novel stuck somewhere in your fore-brain?

You clearly have issues you need to address.

Later when you get the chance, you should address these issues -- by getting drunk. That'll show them!

"Okay."

"Sometimes they break up for a little while, but then they always get back together."

"Maybe I will."

"Mhm. I'm sure she can help out!" She smiles wide. "Anything else you're curious about?"

"What about when everyone is poor?"

"That's really not a proper romance story. That's more like everyday life!"

"Yeah, poor people are boring."

"I guess, yes. People in books are always very interesting. Especially the romance-people."

"Sometimes you have to write about real life things."

"Not in romance books, sir. These are about nice and pretty people, and everyone is happy in the end."

"That's enough romance for me. I had other questions."

"Maybe some about other books?" She rubs her chilled nose with her fist.

"What are you doing now?"

"Math..." She looks into her notebook with trepidation. "It's really difficult. Like -- really. They say you need it to get rich. Better than standing outside in the cold, I guess."

"Oh, oh...!" Suddenly, she smiles and perks up. "I found something while you were away."

"What is it?"

"I thought this would fit you... Like thanks for helping out! Not me -- the city I mean. Like a detective does." She gives you a hat -- almost exactly like the one Dick Mullen wears on the covers.

"Okay, I get it. I can look just like Dick Mullen -- except I'm an actual police officer."

"Yes!" She grins. "I bet it looks good on you. Really serious."

"Right. I have to get back to my homework now, before Mum notices. Man, this is hard..." She looks back at the infernal scribblings under her nose.

"Wait, where did you get it?"

"Just what Dick Mullen would ask!" She lowers her voice. "I got it from behind the curtains. I'm not really supposed to go there..."

"A detective hat?"

"Yes! Just like the one Dick Mullen wears all the time..." She grins. "You'll look way more serious with that."

"It's a... fedora?"

"Maybe? It's the hat Dick Mullen wears all the time..." She grins with joy. "You'll look way more serious with that."

"Say, child... you wouldn't happen to know a good fridge, would you?"

"A fridge?"

"Yes. Like a big, big fridge a cop could put a dead body into."

"Hah!" She smiles. "You mean like the ice bear fridge? Man, that's scary."

"Ice bear fridge?"

"Yes. Like a bear, but white. There's a fridge below the building, in the basement." She points underground. "With red glowing eyes. I went back there once. Behind the bookstore..."

She lowers her voice. "Mum doesn't want me to go there anymore. Not that I want to. It was pretty scary.

"And there's a big fridge there?"

"Yes." She smiles.

"One more thing. How do I get inside the building? I already talked to your mom, but she's not letting anyone in."

"Um... she can be pretty strict, you're right about that. I don't really know what to say. You could try sneaking in?" She smiles shyly, like she's not sure it's the right answer.

"I'm sorry, sir, I really don't know."

"Anyway..." She looks around again, her nose red from the cold.

"I can't understand how I didn't notice a giant ice bear fridge myself..."

The girl shrugs cheerfully: "Well, it is pretty dark in there..."

"One more thing. How do I get inside the building?"

"Um... that's a problem. The only way in is through the bookstore, but my mum is pretty strict about not letting anyone in."

"But, I don't know, you're a police man..." She says it with admiration, eyeing you up and down. "Maybe you can convince her somehow?"

"Ice bear fridge?"

"I'm sorry, sir, I can't talk right now. I'm very busy with my homework... I have so much homework now."

You just can't win.