Conversation · Suggestion

"Of course, sweetie. Do you want to hear about another cryptid? The teratorn is, by many accounts, the greatest though..."

"I need to hear about this sighting."

"It happened on a botanical expedition into the vast and unexplored Uamrao canyon in southeast Iilmaraa. Dr. Plattenkalk got separated from his group during a sandstorm..."

"What happened?"

"Alone in the blasted desert heat the doctor wandered eastward, where man hasn't stepped foot in over a thousand years -- since the fall of Perikarnassis."

"He was lost, without any navigation equipment and desperately low on water. After a day or two he noticed a bird high in the noon sky. A great black bird, it seemed gargantuan."

"Every now and then, the bird would dive down to feed on an animal carcass somewhere on the horizon. But by the time Uwe got there, the teratorn had taken off already -- and the carcass was picked clean. This happened many times."

Eat the bird, Uwe. It's the only way to survive.

"It followed him?"

"More like he followed it. A bird that big has many litres of blood in it and he was dying of thirst. For many days, Dr. Plattenkalk followed the teratorn, until they reached a great canyon wall, where the bird finally landed to rest."

"The professor climbed up there, with a rock in his hand. He found the bird sleeping with its head tucked under its wing. A great black pile of feathers on the perch. So he approached, slowly squeezing the rock in his fist..."

Watch out!

"Then the teratorn suddenly looked at him. He could see it had eight eyes -- four on either side of its skull, like a spider -- and the man couldn't move. He was paralysed, frozen into place with the rock in his hand. Whatever he did, he could not get closer to the bird."

"Why?"

"The bird was controlling his mind. It kept him from approaching. He could step back, but every time he stepped forward -- paralysis. Uwe spent three days trying, until the bird flew away."

"Hold on, how did he survive to tell the story?"

"The eight-eyed teratorn was indifferent to him, as long as he didn't get closer than two steps. It even let him feed on some carcasses up there -- and the two unfertilized eggs it left behind."

"An eight-eyed mind-controlling bird? No way."

"Yes way, sweetie," she smiles, used to derision. "Cryptozoologists have been tracing it ever since, but Uamrao is vast, mysterious, and holds many secrets."

"This one -- I liked," the lieutenant puts down his notes. "Not only does it have eight eyes, and is a living fossil, and the largest bird ever to live. It also does mind control."

He's sincere. He likes the audacity of it.

"Okay. So it's never been seen again."

"Sadly, yes. But there are numerous reports of eight-eyed bird skulls from Iilmaraa. And then there's the striking resemblance to the Perikarnassian Imperial Eagle -- an ancient heraldic symbol -- that is hard to pass off as coincidence. The imperial eagle, too, had eight eyes."

Not really. It's just stylization. The way they drew eyes -- it's not a zoological drawing.

"This one's very famous, everyone knows it. People will be looking at that tie on you and thinking: that man is into cryptids." She winks. "So -- what else do you want to know?"

"Very, very hard."

"So that was the last anyone saw of it?"

"Modern radar telemetry shows great promise -- we will confirm this one. By the end of the decade, latest."

"An eight-eyed mind-controlling bird? C'mon..."

"Yes way, sweetie," she smiles, used to derision. "Cryptozoologists have been tracing it ever since, but Uamrao is vast, mysterious, and holds many secrets."

"An eight-eyed mind-controlling bird. Fuck yes."

"Absolutely, sweetie," she smiles, glad you agree. "Cryptozoologists have been tracing it ever since, but Uamrao is vast, mysterious, and holds many secrets."

"I understand. He started hunting it."

"Yes. A bird that big has a lot of blood in it and he was dying of thirst. For many days Dr. Plattenkalk followed the teratorn. Until they reached a great canyon wall, where the bird finally landed to rest."

"He was following it?"

"Yes. Or, rather, hunting. A bird that big has a lot of blood in it and he was dying of thirst. For many days, Dr. Plattenkalk followed the teratorn, until they reached a great canyon wall, where the bird finally landed to rest."

"Okay -- and Uamrao is..."

"The world's largest canyon system, sweetie. It's a barren waste east of the Erg desert -- an ancient riverbed, completely dried up."

"Mutation..." the man scoffs. "All of evolution is a mutation."

"This has been educational, sadly we need to discuss something else." (Conclude.)

"Of course, dear."

"Is that a cryptid on this pen you gave me?" (Take out the pen she gave you.)

The lieutenant leans in. "Hey, you promised you'd only ask about one cryptid."

"Right, okay, we can move on for now." (It'd be dishonourable to renege on the promise.)

He nods approvingly.

"But, Kim... Don't you want to hear about another cryptid too?"

The lieutenant pauses thoughtfully.

Something in him breaks.

"Ah, fuck it. Let's have more cryptids."

She smiles. "Well, the cryptid on your pen is the kind green ape. Half war story, half undiscovered species in the genus homo."

"War story?"

"Yes. It was reported by soldiers in South Safre during the war. The kind green ape would visit bunkers during the night, healing wounded soldiers with its saliva."

"Wow. With its saliva?"

"Yes. It has amazing healing qualities. Some soldiers reported growing back limbs, regaining their sight..."

"And there was something about an undiscovered sub-species of man?"

"Indeed there is! It's our closest relative among the cryptids. Same taxonomic family, different genus."

"Which is to say, the kind green ape is a species with which we share a common ancestor and that evolved parallel to our own -- just like your partner's!"

"I'm pretty sure Kim is the same species as us... to suggest otherwise is stupid."

The lieutenant looks at you, pleasantly surprised.

"Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that Seolites are inferior to us. In many ways," she turns to the lieutenant, "you are superior. For example, your earwax doesn't have a foul odour like ours does."