Conversation · Suggestion

"I thought we'd agreed on just one cryptid, sweetie."

"But, but... this is so much more interesting than my real job."

"Your work must get quite frustrating. Well, okay, just one or two more..." She smiles mischievously.

"The biggest cryptid is of course -- the Giant of Koko Nur. It's huge."

"Just one -- or two -- more, Lena. Pretty please?"

She grins. "Can't say no to that. Well... the biggest cryptid is the Giant of Koko Nur."

"That would be the Giant of Koko Nur!" she says as if it's common knowledge.

"What's the most dangerous cryptid?"

The lieutenant leans in. "Hey, you promised you'd only ask about one cryptid."

"Right, okay, we can move on for now." (It'd be dishonourable to renege on the promise.)

He nods approvingly.

"But, Kim... Don't you want to hear about another cryptid too?"

The lieutenant pauses thoughtfully.

Something in him breaks.

"Ah, fuck it. Let's have more cryptids."

She smiles. "Well, the most dangerous cryptid is thought to have been the Gnome of Geroma."

"None of its victims survived. Grieving relatives never even found their bodies because the Gnome's venom dissolved organic tissue almost entirely."

"What did this cryptid look like?"

"It was reportedly a small creature -- with webbed fingers and a protruding forehead. An ungainly little thing. Quite scary to look at."

"A couple of campers found it when it was already dying. They heard an odd wailing in the woods and followed the sound. They were scared and wrapped it in tarpaulin to suffocate it."

She looks at you, her voice grave suddenly. "It still took the Gnome of Geroma an entire day to die."

"If the body of the creature was found," the lieutenant can't help himself, "why aren't there detailed illustrations of it in science textbooks? Confirming the existence of this very lethal species?"

"Alas, the first scientist who got his hands on the creature's corpse put it in a jar of formaldehyde, thinking that would detoxify the Gnome's venom."

"Instead, all the venom leaked out of the creature's teeth and into the surrounding liquid, dissolving the creature itself. A poetic end, perhaps, but a real loss for science..." she says, mostly to herself.

"Alas!" Always "alas, and then it was gone!" Isn't that overly convenient?

No. It was a perfectly good explanation, stop being so sceptical.

Sure. A perfectly good explanation. It dissolved in its own venom. Go on then, ask about more gnomes or whatever.

"Seems very convenient, that it just disappeared and nothing like it was seen again."

She nods. "I understand your scepticism, but that's what happens with things that are rare and stand out -- their disappearance is most memorable, and they are least likely to be found again."

"Are there any photos of it?"

"Alas, no. And the first scientist who got his hands on the creature's corpse put it in a jar of formaldehyde, thinking that would detoxify the Gnome's venom."

"I thought we'd agreed on just one cryptid, sweetie."

"Just one or two more, Lena. Pretty please?"

She grins. "Can't say no to that."

"Well, the most dangerous cryptid is thought to have been the Gnome of Geroma."

"But, but... this is so much more interesting than my real job."

"Your work must get quite frustrating. Well, okay, just one or two more..." She grins.

"The most dangerous cryptid is thought to have been the Gnome of Geroma."

"The Gnome of Geroma." She pauses for effect.

"The Gnome of Geroma? That doesn't sound too bad."

"Oh -- it is. None of its victims survived. Grieving relatives never even found their bodies because the Gnome's venom dissolved organic tissue."

"The Gnome of Geroma? That sounds terrifying."

"Oh yes. None of its victims survived. Grieving relatives never even found their bodies because the Gnome's venom dissolved organic tissue."

"Man, I just can't get enough of these cryptids."

She grins. "I'm glad you liked them, but I'm not really one to tell you about all of them. You should ask my husband if you get the chance. He's the real expert."

There's really no point in manipulating anyone. She'd be only too pleased to tell you about her work. Go on and ask!

"Hey, Lena, I'd like to hear about some of the cryptids you've studied. Could you just tell me about a couple of them?"

"Oh, I'd be delighted! Truth be told, I could really use the company too..."

The lieutenant throws you one of his looks. "One cryptid -- not a couple. One. This won't turn into some kind of cryptid extravaganza."

"Okay, Kim. Just one little cryptid. Promise."

He nods and assumes a waiting posture.

Cryptids, cryptids, let's hear about ALL the interesting cryptids!

Whooh... tough choice there.

"Cryptid extravaganza? I like the sound of that."

"And I don't. Just one."

Or he'll be disappointed in you.

The lieutenant throws you one of his looks. "One cryptid -- like you said. One. This can't turn into some kind of cryptid extravaganza. We have things to do."

"I suppose you could use a break, and I could use a distraction..."

Sometimes, the most charming thing you can do is be reasonable in your requests.

"Could you tell me about one, just one interesting cryptid?"