Conversation · Suggestion

"A tremendous evolutionary advantage, I'm sure. But perhaps we've had enough speculative biology for today?"

"I knew it, Kim! You're not human!"

He gives Lena a look communicating something between disgust and exasperation. "Ma'am, you're confusing him."

"Please don't misunderstand me, either of you. Human as it is used in everyday speech is hardly a taxonomic category. For all intents and purposes, you can be thought of as human..."

She looks at the lieutenant, genially. "...though Seolites do have some distinguishing characteristics, different advantages, if you will."

"Yes, advantages such as the flakier texture of Seolite earwax, or so I've heard. Nothing inspires pride in one's species quite like speculative evolutionary biology. Perhaps we've had enough of that for today?"

"Hah, that's why I always have to take the lead -- right, Kim?"

He looks at you with wonder and sincere pity. "I'm beginning to wonder if I should."

"Please don't misunderstand me, either of you! I didn't mean to imply that Seolites are inferior to us. In many ways," she turns to the lieutenant, "you are superior. For example, your earwax doesn't have a foul odour like ours does."

"I think there's a name for that -- racism."

"I didn't mean to imply that Seolites are in any way inferior to us. In some ways, they are superior -- every species has its advantages and disadvantages."

"The kind green ape, too, is in some ways superior to us -- such kindness as it has demonstrated is not common among humans."

"Granted, kindness may not be an evolutionary advantage..."

"You mean... Kim isn't human? I knew it!"

"In everyday speech, human isn't really a scientific category. For all legal and ethical purposes, your partner is a person just like you, so you might as well think of him as being human, too."

"Oh."

"Some argue that the kind green ape should also be thought of as human, especially because it has shown itself to be so humane. I don't dare form an opinion one way or the other without more information, though."

"No, I'm pretty sure Kim isn't human in any sense of the word."

"What do you mean?"

"He doesn't seem to have any character flaws. No human being is that perfect."

"Hmm..." She thinks. "Some argue that the kind green ape should also be thought of as human, especially because it has shown itself to be so humane. I don't dare form an opinion one way or the other without more information, though."

"Why don't you have more information?"

"The ape is very shy. It prefers observing human activity from afar and only approaches when it feels that it must intervene to save lives. No scientist has managed to track it down. Not even Morell. It's so mysterious -- I really can't tell you anything more about it."

"Have you ever tried to find the kind green ape yourself?"

"My husband did, but it's a shy creature and only shows itself to humans when it feels that it must invervene to save lives. No scientist has ever been able to track it down. It's so mysterious -- I really can't tell you anything more about it."

"People like him who stand out... they just don't belong here."

"Hmm... I'm not sure I agree with that, sweetie. At any rate, some argue that the kind green ape should also be thought of as human, especially because it has shown itself to be so humane. I don't dare form an opinion one way or the other without more information, though."

"He's so cool, completely out of this world."

"And undoubtedly inferior to our species as well."

"I thought we'd agreed on just one cryptid, sweetie."

"But, but... this is so much more interesting than my real job."

"Your work must get quite frustrating. Well, okay, just one or two more..." She grins.

"The cryptid on your pen is the kind green ape."

"It was seen in South Safre during the war, visiting bunkers during the night and healing wounded soldiers with its saliva."

"It's our closest relative among the cryptids. Same taxonomic family, different genus."

"Just one or two more, Lena. Pretty please?"

She grins. "Can't say no to that."

"Well, the cryptid on your pen is the kind green ape."

"Yes! It's the kind green ape. Half war story, half undiscovered species in the genus homo."

"What's the biggest cryptid?"

The lieutenant leans in. "Hey, you promised you'd only ask about one cryptid."

"Right, okay, we can move on for now." (It'd be dishonourable to renege on the promise.)

"I'm glad you see it that way." He nods approvingly. "Did we have anything more to do here?"

"But, Kim... Don't you want to hear about another cryptid too?"

The lieutenant pauses thoughtfully.

Something in him breaks.

"Ah, fuck it. Let's have more cryptids."

She smiles. "Well, the biggest cryptid is -- of course -- the horrible Giant of Koko Nur."

"The Giant lives in the most arid parts of the vast Koko Nur desert, in South Samara, casting a strange light across the barren wastes."

"And just how big is it?"

"No one knows for sure. It is like an awful mountain appearing from below the horizon and expanding to cover almost a third of your field of vision."

"Hooey," the lieutenant interjects. "No animal can be that large. It's a mirage."

"That's what makes it so peculiar -- a species surviving at the very limits of scientific law. The Giant of Koko Nur must be the largest animal the planet can support."

"There are limits, you see, to how large a metabolism an ecosystem can beget. Some say a gravity anomaly below the Koko Nur desert might allow the creature to grow to these gargantuan sizes."

Great. This is great shit. You need more.

Gravity anomaly? Diggin' it. Diggin' this para-scientific stuff right here.

"Is it dangerous?"

"The towering luminosity of Koko Nur is a bad omen in local folklore. Some say it's a fata morgana, others -- a fate unimaginable."

"Wait... what do you mean 'strange light'?"

"A mirage... or a psychogenous luminance." She does not elaborate the nature of this luminance further.