Conversation · Mega Rich Light-Bending Guy

"Not even a pseudonym?" The light appears to vibrate with surprise.

"No, a complete mystery. You can call her Anonymous."

"Original. I don't think any of my friends have any pieces from anonymous artists. Or maybe only Luca, the son-in-law of the Comte de L'Ys."

The Aloïs-Lorblanchet family is known to have one of the biggest and most impressive private art collections in the world.

"No, not even him. He might have some Moelles and de Vignys, the authenticity of which historians are debating, but I don't think that counts. Perfect."

"And the name of the piece?" He leans in to take a good look at the rectangular plastic board coated thick with emulsion.

"Cindy the SKULL."

"The art market, you say? Possibly. As I said, I don't carry much money on my person, but do go on -- what are you thinking?"

"The art market, you say? Sure. 'Hit me with it', as they say. I'm keen to hear what you have in mind."

"The art market? Intriguing. You've already convinced me to invest in you, so please, go on -- tell me what you're thinking."

"The art market? Intriguing. Well, as I said, I don't carry much money on my person. But do go on, what are you thinking?"

"Ah, a fellow entrepreneur. Tremendous! The art market? Intriguing. Sure, I'm keen. What are you thinking?"

Present a sound investment plan.

Deploying high-concept buzzword generator. All systems functional: Ready to engage in 3, 2, 1...

It's time to disrupt the future. You've got to stay lean, innovative, and focus on what matters most: the children.

Steal the Union boss's idea, add a twist, and present it as your own? Very capitalistic!

"You should make your money work for you."

"Intriguing. Go on."

"Like they say in investment circles, you gotta spend money to make money. Money's the name of the game here."

"I think I follow you. You're saying I should invest in exotic financial derivatives? Or maybe some kind of real-estate play?"

"I'm saying there's no sense throwing good money after bad."

"But real-estate is an illiquid asset. What happens if you need a short-term capital infusion and all your holdings are tied up?"

You're in deep now, but don't lose your nerve. You can do this.

"Look man, markets are always going like this." (Make an up-and-down motion with your hand.)

"Yes, yes, but the question is how do we take advantage of those fluctuations?"

"Money literally makes the world go round."

"Yes, every school child hears that. The question is how do we get more of that money?"

"A wise man once told me that money is all about trust."

The man pauses, considering your words. The light bends and swims around his face. You cannot tell what he's thinking...

"Trust... yes..."

Who'd have thought you'd remember that nugget of wisdom after nearly frying your brain like you have?

"Such a simple truth, yet so easily forgotten. What is money, anyway, but an idea in our heads we all trust one another to believe in?"

"I'm very impressed. You have a deep understanding of the world that few men ever attain."

"Thank you."

"I don't normally do this without a formal pitch deck, but to hell with it, what's the point of being rich if you have to follow all the rules?"

"Here's a round of seed funding. This should be enough to prove out the concept and get things off the ground."

CHA-CHING. What'll it be? Speed? Vodka? Cigarettes?

Bratan, now's your chance to take some time off. Spend it with your good buddy, and get absolutely wrecked in the process.

"I'm sorry, man, I'm an investor now -- I have to stay sober to calculate risks."

What is this shit?!? CALCULATING RISKS? BRATAN. THE RISKS YOU CANT CALCULATE ARE THE ONLY ONES WORTH TAKING!

"I'm sorry. I just don't see the ROI in that."

The lieutenant looks at you with horror. You've been mumbling to your necktie in a daze for several minutes.

"Ah, yes. Now you're displaying it... the eccentricity that becomes a wealthy individual." If the money-saint's visage weren't wrapped in physics-defying light, you would see his approval.

"Thank you for placing your unwavering trust in me."

"Remember: it's not a handout, it's an investment. And I expect to see returns."

The lieutenant stands there, dumbfounded. His mouth opens slightly, then closes again.

Is he having a stroke?

"What do you think, Kim? Not bad, huh?"

"I am not un-impressed. Let's leave it at that."

"Now, was there anything else I could help you with?"

"Kim, are you alright?"

"Yes. I'm alright." He pauses to compose himself. "Can we get going now?"

"Kim, are you having a stroke?"

"No, I am not having a stroke. You're just... still full of surprises. Most of them bad, but some good..."

The lieutenant has granted you an aura of legitimacy. Bathe in it, but don't let your satisfaction show. Play it cool.

"Thanks for the handout."

"I'll give it some thought."

"Hmm. Drugs do go well with money, I agree."

Nothing less than total annihilation will suffice.

"Actually, I'm not so sure about that."