Conversation · Idiot Doom Spiral

WRONG AGAIN, NERD. Where there's a will, there's a way.

"That's right. Two-hundred fifty grams of blow had accumulated in there over the years. We're talking high-grade Saramirizian pure, not that cut-rate shit your grandma does."

"There are those who believe that the designer was buried with this quarter-key of nose candy still lodged in his sinuses. That's what those expeditions are looking for..."

THE COCAINE SKULL.

"A skull filled with cocaine?"

"The Cocaine Skull!"

"Wow."

"No," he corrects you: "WOW!!"

"And why do people think the skull is here, in Martinaise?"

"Here's the kicker -- this designer, this lead designer of a world famous design studio -- was born in Martinaise. A local boy. Martin Martinaise."

"That's why he brought his studio here -- back to where it all began. And that's why they buried him here too -- perhaps right under Abs' pipe there..." he points to the pipe.

"Or probably further down the coast? Or in some yard in Martinaise proper. A hidden mausoleum? No one knows exactly."

"No, my grandma' always told me his grave lays somewhere on the islets on the bay..."

"This is ludicrous." The lieutenant turns to you. "And physically impossible. Sinuses can't contain that amount of anything."

Now, now detective... always the sceptic.

My only question is -- where does one get a shovel?

"Surprisingly, I'm not interested in looking for the skull."

"Good thing, because I don't think you can find it right now anyway."

WHAT?

"Why?"

"For one, the way is blocked... by that big lorry that says 'Delta Logistics Company' on the side. You'd definitely have to search the area behind that lorry too. Yet it is impassable."

"Oh, right, I've seen that!"

"Second, outfitting an expedition like that is expensive. It'd have to be a big production -- to do the Cocaine Skull justice. You need new gear, people who know what they're doing, all kinds of provisions..."

"It's just not feasible within the economic and temporal frame of our current setup. Matter of fact, unless a bunch of money just falls out of the sky, we might never know what's up with that skull."

"I have to agree. We barely have what we need to solve the case we've got now. We can't afford to run around chasing after quasi-mythical pieces of drug paraphernalia..."

"Besides, it would look extremely bad for the RCM to be caught up in something that has the word COCAINE writ large on it. The PR is tricky on this."

"Who cares? It was an idiotic idea anyway."

What are you talking about? Don't give up! Maybe there's another way... maybe up around the coast?

"Your loss. Could've been an amazing, ridiculous adventure." He shrugs.

"That's alright. We've got plenty of adventures for one case."

"Damn, that's too bad."

Wait! Maybe there's another way... maybe up around the coast? Don't give up now!

"Yeah, well, that's the reality situation for you. Who knows, though? Maybe someday we'll get our chance..."

"And second, outfitting an expedition like that is expensive. It'd have to be a big production to do the Cocaine Skull justice. You need new gear, people who know what they're doing, all kinds of provisions..."

"What have you learned from the other expeditions?"

"They're pretty vague about it, in general. The gangsters like to claim they're looking for the grave of a friend... with picks and shovels..."

"The archaeologists act all official about it, saying they're conducting 'serious research'. Honestly, I think they're not really scientists, just rich."

"The junkies, for some reason, are pretty upfront about it. They just say they're looking to snort some blow out of a dead man's nasal cavity."

Honest men on an honest quest. You should join them.

"By now I'd say I know about as much about it as anyone on the coast."

"What do these expeditions plan to do with it?"

"The archaeologists say they want to put it in a museum. The gangsters say they want to sell it on the black market. And the ad agency guys say they're seeking inspiration..."

Bullshit. They just want to snort it. But you could beat them to it, Harry. You could snort the magic skull cocaine instead...

"I'm pretty sure they all just want to snort it, though."

"And why wouldn't they, ey? Sounds like right strong stuff."

"Okay, I'm convinced. Let's go find it!" (Undertake it!)

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on just a minute. Finding it right now is literally impossible."

"Rosemary, you said something about islets?"

"Don't listen to him or his grandma. He's just making things up."

"No, my grandma told me -- I've heard other people say it too. That it's underwater. Or, no..." He thinks. "Maybe it was the storm sewers..."

"Or maybe it's in the air? Or in an ancient steppe pyramid off shore?"

In a pyramid? Now that would be something...

"The Cocaine... Skull..."

"Oh, dear god," the lieutenant says, his palm rising to meet his face.

WRONG, NERD! Where there's a will, there's a way.

"What a loss for the world of design."

"I know, Tequila, I know..." He takes a swig, considers pouring some out for this lost genius, then thinks better of it.

(Say nothing.)

WRONG. It's super healthy. Your brain tells you so, and when has your own brain ever lied to you?

HE'S TALKING ABOUT COCAINE, BABY.