Conversation · Idiot Doom Spiral

"No, Tequila, let me take care of it."

Before you know it the man has put down the bottle, stood up, and left. Minutes pass; the clouds change shape up in the sky...

You chat a bit with old Rosemary...

Then try to strike up a conversation with Don't Call Abigail about something other than Abigail (to no avail)... It's all about Abigail.

The lieutenant sits silent the entire time, preferring to focus on his notebook.

Clearly we have better things to do than sit down and chat with a bunch of drunks!

After what feels like ages, you hear the fence creaking as if under a large weight. Look at him. Just look at him.

It's Idiot Doom Spiral -- he's back. Like a beast made of jaundice and fetid polypropylene, he returns locked in stiff combat and with a most fearsome foe...

"What are you doing?!"

"I know, I know. Ran into some problems there -- material shortages and the like -- but don't worry, genius thrives under constraints!" He points at himself, proud and happy. "That's why you pay for the best..."

Hmm, he seems even more drunk than before...

What an athlete! There should be a new word for drunk moves like that -- like alco-lete or gin-nast!

He can't even walk straight. How did he write your name in cathode rays?

"Good, good. Can I go and take a look at the monument now?"

"Yes, whenever you're ready -- and I don't think you ever will be..." He pauses to pick up his bottle.

"Just head on over to the horseback monument. You'll see. World's gonna know -- about you, me, and the shiny numbers in our bank account."

The lieutenant closes his notebook and nods at you, ready to go.

"But if there's anything else your old friend can do for you, let me know." He takes a mouthful of beer, swishing it around in his mouth like some kind of sommelier.

"You seem a bit drunk. You sure you're happy with your work?"

"Of course I am. When you're ready -- and I don't think you ever will be..." He pauses to pick up his bottle.

"Here he is -- the man of the hour!"

"All finished?"

"We've pissed off the lieutenant!" (Look at Kim.)

"Sure, sounds like a much-needed break from all the work."

"Exactly! Just give me a minute or two..."

"Relax. I see you both running around like maniacs, just back and forth, back and forth. Gotta live a little, enjoy the day."

He turns his swollen face against the snow, droplets of beer freezing in his beard.

"Relax. I see you both running around like maniacs, just back and forth, back and forth. Gotta live a little, enjoy the sun."

He turns his swollen nose to face the moon, cheeks ruddy from the biting wind.

He turns his swollen nose to face the sun, cheeks ruddy from the biting wind.

"Relax. I see you running around like a maniac, just back and forth, back and forth. Gotta live a little, enjoy the day."

"Relax. I see you running around like a maniac, just back and forth, back and forth. Gotta live a little, enjoy the day."

"Relax. I see you running around like a maniac, just back and forth, back and forth. Gotta live a little, enjoy the sun."

"One more thing -- you're going to have to cut back on the booze."

"Whoa there!" The man looks taken aback, hands high in the air. Tiny droplets of beer flicker in his beard like miniscule pearls.

Yeah, whoa there! What is this, the fun police?!

"No need to worry about that," he says, his inebriated mouth twisting into odd shapes, "I've got it all under control. Besides, it helps with my creativity. Gets the business juices flowing, y'know?" He finishes it off with a wink.

"No, you have to stop drinking. I insist."

"No can do. Sorry." He stares at the bottle in his hand, then lets out a deep sigh...

Some complex calculations are taking place in that intoxicated mind of his...

Suddenly you feel sad, looking at this man and his bottle... somehow he looks ancient, these thoughts having chased him for years.

"No, you're right. I've got to do this. I need this." He pushes a balled fist into a thigh. "Alright, you know what, Tequila, you old rat? I'll consider your request."

"Well, I guess if it helps with your work..."

"Exactly! I just know I wouldn't be able to deliver the hot shit you're after without it." He has a quick swig from his bottle.

"I know what you mean, I become a superpower when I'm drunk."

"Exactly! We're partners, you and I -- partners in drinking, partners in business..." He chugs in celebration.

"If I can do it, so can you."

"I don't think I can do it. Sorry." He stares at the bottle in his hand, then lets out a deep sigh...

"How does your drinking impact your work performance?"

"Drinking is the fuel to my fire. Moistens me up to ensure the high concepts have a smooth landing." He tries taking another sip from the bottle, but misses and pours some of its contents inside his collar.

"Ah, shit..."

He could definitely work more on his Hand/Eye Coordination...

You should hire him and ask him to stop drinking. Everyone deserves a second (or third) chance.

He doesn't exactly come across as responsible. Are you sure you can trust him with your entire fortune?

"This voice in my head tells me to hire you, but I'm not so sure..."

"Sorry, I'm already taken." (Nod at Kim.)

The lieutenant is about to say something, but gets cut off...

"Listen, I'm not about to come between you two. I know my place, eh? I'll just be your Personal Brand Strategist man. Your high-concept idea generator. Yeah?"

"No, you've misunderstood me -- I want you to recommend a Personal Brand Strategist, not become one."

"Tequila, Tequila... You don't know what you're missing out on. Those other guys? They'll just steal your money while providing meagre service."