Conversation · Idiot Doom Spiral

"Abigail..."

"It seemed pretty painful, to be honest with you. If I had to guess, I'd say you're still working through some shit."

"Did I say anything about my colleagues?"

"You told us that they were a bunch of fucking losers whose main interest was 'cramping your style'..."

It's more like you were cramping theirs.

"No specifics, though. It was more about you that night. You were the star of the show."

"I don't need to hear any more." (Conclude.)

"It's a hard thing for a man to confront his past." He nods. "That's why I avoid mine at all costs."

"Did I mention losing anything else?"

"Beside your gun and your badge? You said something about your hope, or heart, or something. To be honest the details are a little hazy..."

"In retrospect, I guess you lost your motor carriage, too. That's a big one."

"Did we talk about, uhm, politics?"

"Yeah, you seemed really mad about immigrants for some reason..." He rubs the back of his neck.

"I'd rather not get into the details. It was pretty low-concept."

"Yeah, you kept talking about how the coal mine owners were fucking us all over just like that woman fucked you..."

"I didn't agree with you, by the way. The spectral hand of the market makes sure everyone gets exactly what they deserve." He takes a long sip of beer.

"Yeah, you said that it was okay that you crashed your carriage because the spectral hand of the market was guiding you..."

"This was before you started talking about how the pinkies were always trying to fuck you."

"Yeah, you said that you'd really behaved unreasonably and failed to uphold your responsibilities as a representative of the Coalition."

"No, not really... you talked a lot about some sad churches and how everyone's just out to fuck you."

"Now that's a story."

"It was the greatest thing this fishing village has seen since Rosemary tried to use a crab to open his beer."

"Aye, that were a classic, too."

"Are you sure it happened like that?"

"Trust me, Tequila. It happened. Just ask one of these other witnesses."

"Aye, every word he says is true."

"See?"

"Don't call Abigail! Don't call!"

"That's not my name. I'm Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau. That's what you should call me."

"Nah, that name sucks. You're Tequila Sunset. Just embrace it, brother."

"Tequila Sunset, huh? Sounds pretty good."

"Yeah, I agree." He smiles.

"Wait, so is Tequila Sunset an event or a name?"

"I think you said that you were the event, and that you would smash the looms of reality. Yeah... I knew I'd heard that looms line before."

"I'm not sure. I think you were the event. Tequila Sunset. You know, as opposed to a Tequila Sunrise, which is long gone."

"Every word I said was true. Tequila Sunset will break the looms of reality."

"Yeah -- looms. Why not? Then you jammed the pedal and ploughed right off the jetty and through the ice."

"Oh god. What happened next?"

"Your reality contracted -- you jammed the pedal, ploughed right off the jetty and through the ice."

"What train are you talking about?" he asks, taking a sip of beer.

There is no train. Just you and the cold light of truth.

"No train at all. Please continue."

"Naturally."

"Oh yeah, not the first time this comes up." (Cough awkwardly.)

"Hey man, I'm not judging." He waves the bottle towards you. "This life's a valley of woes. Some of the highest-concept people in history have killed themselves -- and been drunks."

"Either way, it was a late Saturday night, when we, the Union of Moribund Alcoholics, got our drink on. Nothing remarkable about this, we get our drink on 24/7. Makes everything warm and glowy, I trust you know the feeling."

"Yeah, sure, I did that thing. What of it?!"

"What, like you've never threatened to paint the wall with your brains in front of some strangers?"

Does that sound like something you'd do? Yeah, probably.

The lieutenant's brow is furrowed. He's listening as casually as he can.

"Wait. This doesn't sound like me at all."

"Well, the word on the street may be a rumour, but what happened next is the truth. I was there to witness it, along with these bums here."

Lies, lies, lies! He only speaks liessss.

"What happened then?"

"Wait, did we meet on Friday?"

"For some reason the name Tequila fills me with foreboding. Maybe I shouldn't learn what it means."

"You think you feel bad now, wait till you've heard the story."

No-no. You need the wisdom.

"I don't think you're ready for that grade of reality yet. It'd be ill-advised for me to tell you. You gotta go do the intro yourself -- come back when you've been to the motor carriage, Tequila." He sips his beer.

He points toward the waterline with his bottle.