Conversation · Cuno

"Cuno cares now."

"Really Cuno?"

"Fuck no, Cuno still doesn't give a shit."

"I got more speed. Let's do this again."

"I took care of the drug situation."

Try once more to figure him out, find a way to connect with him.

"Cuno, I... I threw up and I can't investigate the body now..."

"Yeah, like a fucking volcano!" The kid is mimicking violent puking noises. "Fucking pathetic."

"You're lucky you didn't die there, f****t!"

"Maybe you got some advice for me? I mean, you are obviously handling it quite well."

"Yeah, Cuno's got some advice for you." The kid looks to his left, then to his right, and then leans towards you.

"What are you... like, eighty, right? Maybe you should stop embarrassing yourself in front of a fucking kid."

Hmm... perhaps you could compress this negative energy and turn it into some sort of a Cunofied Nonvomitor?

Cunofied Nonvomitor, here I come!

That's right, turn your weaknesses into conceptual strengths. Try it again now.

Uhh... what?

Don't ask questions, roll with it. It will work, I promise!

I don't think so.

Always the cynic. Then I have a suggestion -- just don't vomit any more, okay?

"Ah, forget about it."

"Wish Cuno could," he says with sadness in his eyes. "That shit was vile."

"Screw the both of you!"

"Or what? You'll fucking vomit on Cuno too, pig?"

"I have more questions about the crime scene."

"About the crime scene -- you kids often play in this yard?"

"I am looking for the Children of the Big Sea. Would that be you?"

"Cuno is the Big C, pig, and Cuno doesn't have fucking diaper rats, does he?"

"I'll write you down as a 'no' then."

"Write Cuno down as a FUCK YOU, pencil pig."

"I don't know, does he?"

"You heard Cuno, pighole! NO FUCKING DIAPER RATS!"

Figure out what's going on with this kid.

"I am looking for the Children of the Big C. The C stands for Communism. Would that be you?"

"Cuno isn't a fucking communist, bacon man, he's a fucking Cunoist."

A new mode of government: Rule by Cuno. Outside of this backyard, it will never exist.

"Fuck out of here with your commie propaganda. There's only Cunoganda in the Kingdom of Cuno."

"Cuno, let's talk about your shack again."

"I want to buy the FALN pants."

"Here, pig. We FALN now. Performance buddies." Cuno unzips his jacket again and pulls the pants out of the plastic wrapping.

"Cuno can already see you soaring through the air like a fucking eagle." He looks at you with pride. "Pig's in Cuno's debt now. Money-debt."

Money-debt doesn't mean anything. He's just saying words. You're not in his debt.

"I want to buy the FALN pants after all."

"Okay, I'm off." [Leave.]

"Watch out, pig. It's a dangerous world out there. But Cuno's got his eyes on you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Cuno starts doing the I got my eye on you gesture repeatedly. "Who knows?!"

"Cuno doesn't fucking care."

"I talked to Mañana about the armour."

"So?!" He raises his eyebrows, projecting aggressive indifference.

You should thank him.

"He said to thank you. Wasn't too keen on chasing down that armour anyway."

"Uh... fuck... okay. Cuno's a giver like that, yes." He looks slightly confused.

"Cuno sent your fat ass running around like jello!"

"Look, pig..." He's suddenly all business. "Cuno sent you to rough some people up. Cuno played you. That happened. Now you and Cuno should move on."

Good idea.

"Yes. Let's move on."

"Yeah, that's what Cuno said. Don't be saying what Cuno said back to Cuno." He throws his hands in the air. "Get the fuck out of here, parroting Cuno..."

"After this shit you better have something real interesting to say if you wanna stay in Cuno's face."

"Yeah! Real interesting."

"Whatever, kid..."